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St. Augustine Prep is the worst high school ever founded. It is located in the shitty village of Richland, NJ. Nobody actually enjoys going there, they just pretend to, because, A: Their parents pay over $10,000 a year (indeed, St. Augustine's is overpriced), and B: they are afraid of all the meatheads who feel the need to beat up everyone who rags on the damn place.
St. Augustine has a terrile record of placing their athletic programs over their academics. This is quite sad when you consider the fact that, for all the money poured into athletics, they continue to lose in just about every sport imaginable, with the exception of Swimming... maybe.
Because of this, their academic program is a JOKE. Those who claim to have a "difficult" time there should go to a REAL school, and then see if they can make it. Sadly, many misguided children insist on referring to the school as "The Prep." This is a sad mistake on their part. Also, those who DO call it by its proper name cannot pronounce it properly anyway. They insist on St. "Uhh - guhs - tin." It really ought to be said St. "Aug -iss - teen."
Also, it should be noted that the water on the St. Augustine "campus" is radioactice, with high levels of RADON. Do NOT drink the water. Bring some bottled water.
St. Augustine is a strange place. While everyone insists on accusing each other of being gay, the funny thing is, they all act 'queerly.' Never in your life will you see so many pictures of the male anatomy drawn all over the walls, books, desks, et cetera. Also, many people think that is funny to turn out the lights and barricade the doors of the locker rooms. They then proceed to touch other students in the dark. As you may imagine, the typical speciman as found at St. Augustine is quite immature.
St. Augustine is also home to "The Brotherhood." Like it or not, as soon as you go to school there, they induct you into their cult. The "Initiation Ceremony" is quite sketchy; it involves rubbing the "Lamp of Knowledge" and signing "The Register of Brothers." There is no escape. Run while you still can.
St. Augustine 'Prep' also has questionable practices concerning money. If you parents pay $10,000 for each student, and there are ~500 students, then at $5m per year, you'd think that they could fix some things. First, why are students limited to 10 print-outs per month? And why are there no arts programs? And why is the library so pathetically stocked? And why do the science labs look as though they come straight out of the 1950's? Oh, wait! That's right! They spend all their money on sports! Duh! And, they probably pocket a large portion of that $5m, too.
THIRD SEMESTER: This is a phrase to be feared by all parents. The basic gist of this program: after classes are finished in May, students go on a required "educational trip," of which there are some 15 +/- choices. In actuality, this is nothing more than a free vacation for those teachers who chaperone it.
RELIGIOUS RETREATS: This is a phrase to be feared by children. Basically, all students go a trip each year to enhance their faith... or reinforce their lack there of. A Breakdown:
FRESHMEN: One short evening in April/May.
SOPHOMORES: Required to spend one week in Camden,
NJ, the most dangerous city in the United States.
This is suuposed to allow students to empathize
with the poor. Instead, it makes them afraid of
the poor.
JUNIORS: Spend a day in a state prison. They get
to make license plates.
SENIORS: Go away for a week to God-knows-where.
But, lest you be fooled, there are SOME things to LOVE about "the Prep." These include:
- Fred, the beloved Dog. SHE is female.
- The Secretary. She is SO NICE!
- The OLMA girls, form our sister school. They're
chill.
- The French Teacher. She Rocks.
- The College Counselor. He's amazing.
I got into St. Augustine Prep! But, I was rejected from every other high school.
I hat my high school, St. Augustine's.
The Prep sucks.
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a south jersey all boys school that gets their asses handed to them everytime they play eustace in sports. all over st.augustine sucks.
Eustace boys Hockey vs. St.Augustine Prep. Eustace 4 St. Augustine 1
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a prep school in new jersey. all guy school who circle jerk each other every friday. suck at ice hockey especially against eustace i believe their record vs eustace is something around the lines of 20-3-1 and when the "fans" go to the games they come up with the weakest chants EVER and when they bring "girls" they're really just men with boobs and long hair. school has no class and cassalaro is the biggest homo ever, which is prolly why he's at at. auggy and also the students have no self respect what so ever. bottom line: worst and most pathetic school ever. they always say "p-r-e-p prep prep prep" too bad eustace is a prep, st joes is a prep and unfortunatly malvern is a prep
St. Augustine prep Fans at Ice hockey games:
"p-r-e-p prep prep prep"
Eustace fans in response:
"sit down shut up" or "get your meat wet" or "start the buses" or "circle jerkers"
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the act of taking your girl to the beach, laying her down on the sand and throwing a handful of sand on her snatch befor 'going to town'
Steve: ya i gave her the sandy st augustine at the beach yesterday.
Jason: ya, thats fucked up Steve
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When you meet a lady, suggest a sexual encounter, and she accepts, but turns out she is a dude, and you find yourself being violated anally.
Yo man, I saw this hottie with a big jar of Vaseline in Starbucks, next thing I know, (s)he is giving me a St. Augustine Suprise.
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When drunk as fuck at a local hotel pool, one is tired of the apple he has halfway eaten. He then decides to toss the half eaten apple in the pool.
After tossing the apple, the apple culprit walks through a puddle of piss on his way to the bathroom.
The next morning at breakfast, the apple is still floating in the same spot as the night before.
Maxwell: Yo man, after your done with that apple I want a bite.
John: Aight man... SPLASH!!! Oops, I just did the St. Augustine apple toss.
Maxwell: What the fuck did you do that for man? I wanted some of that apple.
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An act of love making that requires some heavy lifting. While in St. Augustine, a rather large women (preferably 250lb+) approaches you with an offer to "do the dirty", as they say, back at her place. You then pursue a counter offer and immediately take her to the closest pier. Once there, it is important to stay as close to the edge of the pier for optimal results. You proceed in the act of love making and midway through when enough strength and muscle is gathered, you thrust and push with all your might as she plummets off the side. Make your way as quick as possible to the edge in order to see the rare splash of a "big whale" that very few people witness.
- " How was your weekend, man?"
- " Dude, I made my way down to St. Augustine and got approached with an offer I couldn't refuse."
- " Say it ain't so, you.... pulled off the St. Augustine Big Whale?"
- " Sure did, it brought a tear to my eye."