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Im probablyl not adding anything realy new but this is my description of depression.
Imagine sitting inside of a box, Its a totaly transparent box, You can see a whole world outside of you with all the pleasures it can offer (you know like having fun with friends, playing games, listening to your favorite music, etc) Heres the catch, that box your inside of... Its bolted to the ground. Your trapped inside with no way of ever getting out.
To me, That is what depression feels like
Depression
I feel like a rat in a trap, Always wanting to break free of my restraints and run, But the metal only digs deeper the more I struggle.
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The state of mind in which an individual might feel alone, helpless, inadequate, trapped, severely upset or rejected. Depression may also be accompanied by some form of self harm. Someone with depression may find it hard to talk about their feelings, even with their closest companions and family members, therefore they will put on a 'happy face' to mask their true feelings. Depression is usually first diagnosed after a traumatic event, such as a death of a loved one, or after a long period of holding in feelings.
Depression Poem
Light has gone away
Darkness fills me every day
Nothing more to say.
Today is the day
I put my plan into play
Do not want to stay.
I wake up in tears
Filled with a new set of fears
Angry, and still here.
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For the people saying that people with depression will slit their wrists, have suicidal thoughts, and dress black, that may be true for some people but it's most definitely not for all.
Depression is also NOT a "side affect of being a teenager" I've met my fair share of teenagers who claim to be depressed but in all actuality they are just said that the boy they like didn't like them back. Teenagers, adults, and children can be depressed.
It is also not a joke, it's not something you can snap out of. Depression is a very real thing that hurts more than anything. It changes the way people live, they eat less, or more, they may gain or lose weight, they just don't have a reason, or can't seem to find a reason to smile. Crying sometimes is all that they can do, or lay in bed when they used to hang out with friends or do sports or anything. Depression is not a choice. Depression is real, and it is an indescribable feeling of sadness and emptiness and guilt. (Emo and depressed are not the same thing)
"why are you sad?"
"I don't know"
"It's okay you can tell me"
"I really don't know I just don't have a reason to smile right now"
"Depression?"
"I guess.."
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When you dont feel like your former self, the biggest burden you have to carry in life is your life. The last thoughts of happiness in your life seem so distant that you dont recognize the person you once were. You want your life to end but sometimes putting in that effort to end it seems impossible. We are trapped underneath the weight of our failures, where we feel we deserve to be.
Depression is When you want to be happy but the tears running down your face and the burning inside your heart are to much to live with, you feel as if your nothing more then a vessel wondering an empty world where noone can see you and the thought of dying is the best you can possible have.
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Symptons of depression:
1~sadness, tearfulness, crying, frequently showing pervasive sadness by wearing black clothes, writing poetry with morbid themes, or having a preoccupation with music that has nihilistic themes. Also, crying for no apparent reason.
2~hopelessness feeling that life is not worth living or worth the effort to even maintain their appearance or hygiene. They may believe that a negative situation will never change and be pessimistic about their future.
3~less interest in activities; or not enjoying previously favorite activities dropping out of clubs, sports, and other activities. Not much seems fun anymore.
4~persistent boredom; low energy Lack of motivation and lowered energy level is reflected by missed classes or not going to school. A drop in grade averages can be equated with loss of concentration and slowed thinking.
5~social isolation, poor communication lacking connection with friends and family. avoiding family gatherings and events. Teens who used to spend a lot of time with friends may now spend most of their time alone and without interests. not sharing feelings with others, believing that you are alone in the world and no one is listening to you or even cares about you.
6~low self esteem and guilt assuming blame for negative events or circumstances. you may feel like a failure and have negative views about their competence and self-worth. you feel as if you are not "good enough."
7~extreme sensitivity to rejection or failure believing that you are unworthy, becoming even more depressed with every supposed rejection or lack of success.
8~increased irritability, anger, or hostility often irritable, taking out most of the anger on your family. you may attack others by being critical, sarcastic, or abusive. you may feel u must reject ur family before their family rejects them.
9~difficulty with relationships you may suddenly have no interest in maintaining friendships. you'll stop calling and visiting their friends. u also may have lost a loved one or had a bad relationship with ur bf/gf
10~frequent complaints of physical illnesses, such as headaches and stomachaches complaining about lightheadedness or dizziness, being nauseous, and back pain. Other common complaints include headaches, stomachaches, vomiting, and menstrual problems.
11~frequent absences from school or bad performance in school causing trouble at home or at school. Because u may not always seem sad, parents and teachers may not realize that the behavior problem is a sign of depression.
12~poor concentration having trouble concentrating on schoolwork, following a conversation, or even watching television.
13~a major change in eating and/or sleeping patterns Sleep disturbance may show up as all-night television watching, having a hard time getting up for school, or sleeping during the day. Loss of appetite may become anorexia or bulimia. Eating too much may result in weight gain and obesity.
14~talk of or efforts to run away from home Running away is usually a cry for help. This may be the first time the parents realize that their child has a problem and needs help.
15~thoughts or expressions of suicide or self-destructive behavior saying u want to be dead or talk about suicide.
16~alcohol and Drug Abuse using alcohal or other drugs as a way to feel better.
17~self-injury having difficulty talking about their feelings may show their emotional tension, physical discomfort, pain and low self-esteem with self-injurious behaviors, such as cutting.
The definition is enough.
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When it's dark enough to see the stars...
I am depressed. Not that anyone cares, of course.
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Most difinitely NOT a mood; it is NOT something that one can get over by friends making them laugh. Depression is an illness just like diabetes or cancer that affects the mind and needs to be treated just as urgently. Can be fatal. It is a horribly unbearable feeling inside that does not go away.
Take a deep breath in, hold it, take another breath in. That pain that you feel is the start of depressive feelings. Now pretend you haven't slept in 4 weeks and your body hurts like you have a flu. That is sorta like what depression feels like
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