Tijuana Cartel

The Tijuana Cartel is based in one of the most strategically important border towns in Mexico, and continues to export drugs even after being weakened from a brutal internal war during 2009.

Due to infighting, arrests and deaths of some of its top members, the Tijuana Cartel is a shell of what it was in the 1990s and early 2000s when it was considered one of the most potent and violent criminal organizations in Mexico. After the arrest or assassination of its founding members, the Arellano Felix clan, the cartel is now headed by Fernando Sanchez Arellano, a nephew of the Arellano Felix brothers who once bloodied Mexico and southern California with their brutish and authoritarian style. With the powerful Sinaloa Cartel moving into Tijuana in force, Sanchez Arellano is struggling to keep a grip on this lucrative drug and human trafficking corridor.

58👍 9👎

tijuana tradewind

The act of farting in a hair dryer while aiming the hot wind at your unsuspecting companion.

Summer breeze makes me feel fine, but that Tijuana tradewind almost made me vomit.

tijuana flamethrower

When you eat spicy food and your b-hole gets burned while shitting it out.

Don't get the jalapeño burrito or you'll end up with a Tijuana flamethrower.

tijuana bible

Small-format, hand-drawn, low-quality pornographic storybook. Popular in the first three decades of the 20th century. Usually pretty crude and often involving celebrities or popular cartoon characters.

Psst. Have you seen this tijuana bible with Archie and Veronica getting it on?

76👍 18👎

Tijuana Samsonite

Using black garbage bags as luggage

Juan checked his Tijuana Samsonite at the ticket counter.

She picked up her Tijuana Samsonite in baggage claim

Tijuana toothpaste

A euphemism for semen, deposited into the mouth of one adminstering fellatio, usually in the hopes of gaining financial benefit or career advancement.

First used in the January 23, 2002 The Onion article "Who Do I Have to Blow to Win the Bancroft Prize in American History?"
http://www.bigosoft.com/dan/bancroft_prize.htm

"I was so intent on getting that adminstrative position that I guzzled gallons of Tijuana toothpaste."
-or-
"How did someone as dumb as her become Vice President of the company? She must be brushin' with some serious Tijuana toothpaste."

36👍 7👎

Tijuana Baptism

When a guy gets his junk vomited on whilst receiving a blow job.

Chris: "Hey, remember that drunk chick at the bar the other day?"

Marc: "You mean the one with no teeth?"

Chris: "Yeah. She gave me a blowy in my car and threw up all over my wee-wee."

Marc: "That's awesome, you've gotten your first Tijuana Baptism!"

19👍 3👎