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consultating

To consult among colleagues or peer group.

We are consultating regarding a new product in development

by Samuel Taggart April 19, 2005

5πŸ‘ 21πŸ‘Ž


Consultant

A person who will never make six figures and will definitely not be able to have a starting salary of $140,000. Consultants are often considered the least interesting people in the office, and are often hated by everyone.

Dave is going to be a consultant

by OnOheeHa March 18, 2015

4πŸ‘ 28πŸ‘Ž


Ass. Consultant

Abbreviation for 'Associate Consultant', some bullshit job title to give younger employees a false sense of hope that their job means something. Commonly found in rural consultancies in St. Ives. Sometimes loaned out sexually to clients to secure deals.

Client: 'The proposal is pretty good, but the quote is too high'
Hobb Knob: 'Have one of my ass. consultants for the night, not the yank though, he's spoiled goods and has an arse like a grapefruit'
Client: 'Deal, we'll sign off in the morning'

by RandyRhoads84 December 26, 2016


Consultants of Swing

Specialist consultants brought in to tip the balance of vital swing stages during elections.

The Donald: We're down in the polls, bring in the consultants of swing for Florida.
Advisor: I'm on it

The Donald: Remember, no Russians. NO COLUSION.

by RandyRhoads84 May 21, 2020


Milestone Consulting

World domination through the power of positive thinking and outlandish work ethic. Generating success through the "work hard, play hard" enviroment while caring and helping others reach a milestone in their career.

Today is my day to start Milestone Consulting.

by John Blevins July 7, 2012

26πŸ‘ 2πŸ‘Ž


chainsaw consultant

Independent contractors brought in by upper management under the auspices of "streamlining work flow", but in actuality to suggest what positions can be eliminated thus reducing headcount and overhead for purposes of downsizing.

In the movie "Office Space" the characters referred to as "The Bobs" are classic examples of chainsaw consultants. The main character avoids being fired through a combination of unexpected brutal honesty about his lack of passion for his position, and also engendering camaraderie with those sent to determine if his
job is really necessary.

by Cale Dempster December 9, 2008


Network Consultant

A parasite that contributes nothing to the network and is only looking for ways to stay on the payroll. This is the individual at the burger joint that asks β€œdo you want fries with that?” The network Consultant is constantly looking for useless network tweaks to justify his presence at a customer site. Be especially weary of the Euro-trash no talent hack type; this character dazzles senior management with a ridiculous accent all the while unraveling the solid network that’s in place. Network consultants never look at a network as a whole, but only analyze bits and pieces of it. In this manner they always have work do to since the last project they completed broke some other part of the network.

I’m gonna have to give nickel blow jobs in the street to get my self respect back after taking this network consultant job.

If that network consultant was on fire; I wouldn’t piss on him.

by network dog February 14, 2006

46πŸ‘ 9πŸ‘Ž