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A position for attorneys that is not as good as being a BigLaw Associate or a federal court clerk, but is infinitely better and more interesting than working in insurance defense. Pays better, too.
BigLaw is Heaven.
Document review is Purgatory.
Insurance defense is the 7th Circle of Hell.
84👍 36👎
1. Attorney tasked to make lists and charts, and distribute multi-colored folders.
2. In-house entertainment for Farley, Potenza and Dougherty.
"Get me those hot docs STAT, document monkey!"
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When one puts flyscreen over their butt-hole, they then shit onto their partners face, creating long strands of faeces to spill down their front.
Liam Mac: "hey hone, good you please go down to the hardware store and fetch me some fly-screen... by the way, you herd of a The Shredded Document?
5👍 2👎
An always evolving, breathing, editable and constantly changing document.
Jenny: Oh hey, is that the final version of the tech spec?
Joe: No, there is no final version. This is a DARWIN Document.
Jenny: Oh? Why do you call it a Darwin document?
Joe: Cause that fucker's always evolving.
Is said of a document, located somewhere in your corporate network drive, that has an either outdated or erroneous header, footer, meta tag, etc. Even after a thorough cleanup by system admins, an employee is bound to discover a document zero, use it as a template and spread the error around.
Greg: "Sir, this is the most recent expenditures slide deck we have."
Reginald: "Greg, why is our old company logo still on this presentation???"
Greg: "Ughh... Someone must have used an old template, again... I thought we got rid of all the old logo stuff! There must still be a document zero somewhere..."
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An area of your PC where you are supposed to save your files, but is rendered useless by the desktop
"Dude, go save that in the My Documents folder"
"Naw, I'll just stick it on the desktop"
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One who abides by all laws, loves to play cop man, is a snitch, goes and gets coffee every morning to patrol the school parking lot, makes you have parent permission for everything, doesn't care to trust anybody, very uptight, has their head up their ass, usually is someone in higher authority than you, reports crime, and follows the dress code every day at work or school. This person follows all of the rules, even lame rules.
"Sir, do you have a pass? No? What is that a phone, give me your phone."
"Well, my friend, you are a Legal Document for trying to be so law-like."
6👍 3👎