People from (usually) Christian faiths who go knocking door to door spreading their view on Christianity (or likewise). They most common variety are the LDS (mormons) and Jehova's Witnesses (Jay Dubs).
They can easily be identified, the LDS Missionaries always wear either suits or white shirts, ties, and slacks and always come in pairs of two, and in rare occasions three. The JW missionaries usually come in a car with at least two (sometimes a full car) and only one will knock on each door (as compared to LDS missionaries who both go to the same door at the same time). Also, LDS missionaries are usually 19-21 year old men, occasionally women of the same age, and in even rarer occasions elderly couples. The Jehova Witnesses come in nearly the full spectrum of human age.
Contrary to popular belief, not all mormon missionaries ride bikes. Some of them get cars, and some only walk.
I put a "NO SOLICITING" sign outside my door to keep those pesky missionaries off my property.
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How your Mum and Dad Fuck / Made you
Dad: Tonight darling, we shall make a son.
Mother: Splendid, can we try a more exotic position than Missionary?
Dad: No i shall take you as Adam took Eve
Mother: Alright shove a baby in me...
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A group of annoying religeous fanatics who come to your door to attempt to convert you to their pathetic religeon. Usually having no respect for anybody else but their own scewed beliefs about how they can become gods, and in the case of the mormons, racism and polygamy.
-Immune to logic
-Wears a suit and tie usually
-Funded by massive religeous projects that rip money out of the poor dumb people who follow them
-Travel in groups of 2 usually
-Extremely stupid, and they often sacrifice a whole 2 years of their lives (thats 2% of your life if your optimistic).
Hello there, we have come to tell you about some great news! Fact of the matter is, you can be IMMORTAL! you can actually FLY and make black people pick cotton for you. just JOIN our religeon. DO IT NOW OR DIE! WERE A MISSIONARIES!
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where yo bish is on her back with her knees in her face and your makin da babies
want to try the missionary tonight?
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A rule where you can only have sex with a girl in missionary on Monday
Why are we having taco Tuesday on missionary Monday
The triceps; they are the muscles that a man uses to support himself while having sex in the missionary position.
Oh man, I was on top of Renee for two hours last night and now my missionary muscles are killing me.
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Pain in the hip due to too much sex. Tennis elbow of the hip.
I better switch positions before I get missionary hip.
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