1. 99% live in Utah.
2. Napoleon Dynamite is their hero.
3. believe green jello is a sacred food.
4. have 28045345.5 kids.
5. use slang curse words: oh my ____ (heck, gosh, fetch...)
6. pretty much have the hottest girls around...
Oh my gosh are the Smiths mormons?! We better have a party so they can bring some frickin' sweet green jello!...
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A person who's morals are almost as high as the number of kids they have, believe in "the plan of salvation", and get all the hottest girls.
"Dude! Maria is HHAAWWTT!!"
"Dude, she's a MORMON"
"Crap..."
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Keepers of the secret truth behind magnets.
although many have tried to squeeze this secret from the mormons, many have failed.
Mormon:"Hello, would you like to ask a question on our basic beliefs?
Me:"Yes, how do magnets work?"
Mormon:"your chat has ended"
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The term given to members of the various churches who follow the teachings of Joseph Smith, Jr. They are called this because Joseph Smith claimed to translate an ancient American record called "The Book of Mormon".
Many different Churches follow the the teachings of Joseph Smith, but most often the term "Mormons" is used to describe members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Sometimes it is also used to describe the members of "Break-off" Churches who still follow discontinued practices of the Original Church, such as polygamy, etc.
Those people are Mormons.
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People who won't stop coming to my doorstep to tell me the good news.
-Knock knock-
*I walk to the door... open it, and I am greeted by Mormons.*
MORMON # 1
Hello, I'm Malachi and this is my friend Bob. We're here to tell you the good news!
ME
...go on.
MORMON # 2
Well sir, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We want to tell you all about the Book of Mormon!
ME
...um, okay.
MORMON # 1
Do you mind if we come in, sir?
ME
...I guess so?
-5 hours later-
MORMON # 2
Now that you've been read the complete, unabridged Book of Mormon, how would you like to join our Church?
ME
Oh, no thanks, I've got... agnosticism.
-
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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. A faith who's foundation is belief of Jesus Christ, and that he restored his church upon the earth. They don't drink alcohol, most teas, or coffee. They strive to live a healthy lifestyle.
Even though I'm mormon, I'm not perfect. But, I know I can repent.
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The act of being so stereotypically mormon that its moronic.
"That Mormon doesn't own a car, only a bike...thats mormonic."
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