Were

The way Asian people say "war". Stupid R's.

John: We kicked yall's asses in the war.
Hitler: Yes, yes you did.
John: We kicked yall's asses in the war too.
Bin Laden: Yes, yes you did.
John: We..
Minh: ..got your asses kicked in the Vietnam Were.
John: The what?
Minh: The WEREEEEE. You speak English?!?! Wereeee.. were.. were.. WERE!
John: Yall can't drive, can't reach the top shelf, and damned can't even say the word..

Minh: ..but we still kick your ass in the Were!
John: Yes, yes you did.

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As it were

This is what unfortunate people add to their sentences when they are desperately trying to convince you that they are either telling the truth or are quite a bit smarter than reality.

Well, when I was last in Italy, we dined at a most excellent little place I found called Nicola's, as it were.

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If…were a person

“If…were a person” is a catch all formulaic phrase designed to foreground the actions of a person as so definitive that their picture should be found under the definition of the word or phrase.

If used correctly the verb “to be” used in the sentence should be conjugated in the English Subjunctive tense because it presupposes a condition that does not actually exist preceded by the word: “if”.

Any number of colorful phrases can be used to complete this word formula. The only limit is the imagination of the observer.

Correct ways of using the formula: “If…were a person.”

If “cock blocking” were a person it would look like Joe Manchin vs.Biden’s attempts at legislation.

If “too soon” were a person it would look like Pete Davidson sending a selfie to Kanye West from Kim Kardashian’s bed after smashing.

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And they were roommates

Originally a line from a Vine.

It now usually refers to straight people ignorantly misinterpreting gay/lesbian situations.

Person1: I saw a picture of Jim and John holding each other lovingly on Facebook, they must be good friends.

Person2: “and they were roommates”

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and they were roommates

is an iconic vine and it should be known world wide

*Girl walking down the street on her phone*: and they were roommates
guy: omg they were roommates

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Were-hole

A person who is particularly grouchy after a mid-afternoon, or a post-work nap, where the being wakes up in the later hours of the day where the sun has set, and the moon has been suspended in the sky.

Were-hole: "What's for dinner?!"

Were-victim: "Dinner was over two hours ago, it's 7:30"

Were-hole: "Sorry for snapping, I must have turned into a

Were-hole during my nap."

as you were

Ignore anything you just saw. Forget everything I just said.

The reset button of life, especially of military life.

As you were, soldier. Nothing just happened.

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