dutch hearth

Farting underneath the covers when one is alone. Onset is triggered by curiosity and typically results in catastrophic consequences. Analogue to dutch oven when said oven is used as a weapon against significant other.

Walter - I dutch hearthed myself last night after eating them prunes and almost spit up.
Delores - Maybe you'll stop doing it to me now after all these years.
Walter - Probably not.

10👍 1👎

Dutch Hacksaw

A sexual act involving two men and one woman, whereby the woman is being penetrated at the same time in the anus and vagina. Piston-like action.

Brian and Beau high-fived while performing a dutch hacksaw on Brian's girlfriend.

10👍 1👎

Dutch Torpedo

The act of taking a shit in any body of water and guiding your fresh turd (henceforth referred to as the torpedo) to your friends swimming nearby, be it by natural currents or human motion. You position yourself upstream, take a squatting position and spread your butt cheeks to launch the warhead. As the guidance system locks in on your target, you then start the countdown sequence: “3, 2, 1, fire!” If your brown torpedo hits one of your friends and triggers its toxic cargo, you then shout “I’ve sunk your battleship!”

Yo Dude, What's this floating in the water? OH NO! It's a Dutch Torpedo! Swim for your life!

14👍 2👎

Dutch Blindfold

To place the penis into the mouth of a loved one, and to cover their eyes with your testicles whilst doing so.

The only thing she disliked about me giving her a dutch blindfold was that my (pubic) hair got caught in her left eye and it went blood-shot.

106👍 32👎

dutch wax

the male equivalent of a brazillian wax.

They told him he'd never make it in the adult industry without a dutch.

31👍 7👎

dutch jellyfish

The name given to a clot of jizz caught in the plughole, after having a wank in the bath and running away the water.

My flatmate left a dutch jellyfish in the bathroom

32👍 7👎

dutch slap

A combination of a "dutch oven" and "bitch slap", wherein one releases flatulence into his or her own hand and proceeds to "bitch slap" an opponent. The smell is horrendous.

I dutch slapped your wife this morning.

21👍 4👎