Self-Nooner

Unable to find a partner, you retire to the bathroom to pleasure yourself on your lunch hour.

The chick from accounting rejected me so I retired to the bathroom for a self-nooner!

10👍 1👎

Self gratification

The "polite" term for spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, beating your meat, polishing your pole, having a wank, ect. ect. You get it. It's how the news man would tell the audience you've been jerking off.

In local news, city councilman McAccerty was allegedly found engaging in self gratification behind the bus shelter with a toy giraffe and a roast chicken. We go live on the scene of his press conference now.

14👍 2👎

Self esteem

What every girl on Girls Gone Wild lacks.

The girl with the blurry boobs had low self esteem.

585👍 212👎

self-serving

Working to benefit one's self at a time when one should be working to benefit others.

See job security, legislator, lawyer, and conflict of interest.

34👍 7👎

self-pwn

1: When you do something utterly stupid, it causes something bad to happen to you

2: suicide

3: Variation of self-own

Guy 1: He slipped on his skateboard and fell down the stairs, breaking his neck.

Guy 2: Self-PWNED!

34👍 8👎

Self made

When your sister makes a sex tape and gets famous.

Doug: Wow did you hear about the new Forbes article where it says Kylie Jenner is the youngest SeLf MaDe BiLLiOnAiRe!
Tim: buuuuut she not thoooo... she was always rich.

34👍 8👎

Self-Potato

To pleasure yourself or others using potatos.

This word was first used on wheel of fortune when a contestant guessed the mystery phrase to be "self-potatos" when the correct answer was in fact "self portrait".

This word was also used on a youtube episode of RayWilliamJohnson to make fun of the contestant

My girlfriend always gives me self-potatos.

I'm gonna go home and give myself some self-potatoes tonight.

212👍 72👎