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Someone who, often accidentally, secretly listens to another person taking doing a turd.
Running a tap whilst doing a turd is a good way to avoid secret listeners.
John: “I need a turd, but I’m worried there might be secret listeners”
Peter: “I understand your concerns, have you thought about running a tap?”
No I do not have to cede the discourse to someone who has a ✌️✊️✌️desirable✌️✊️✌️ outcome so they can sit there and MAKE SOME SHIT UP to make themselves SOUND good (regardless of the truth of their propositions). Get the fuck out of here with that.
A retard "Listen to people who have the outcome, bro"
Hym "Nah, you go fuck yourself with that. You know damn well your ass is just going to lie about anything that makes YOUR SUCCESS (either) look trivial OR as though there are external factors that exist outside of your control that are the direct result of your success. You're SURE AS HELL going to lie if anything makes your wife look like a disreputable slut. Anything that doesn't lend credence to the proposition that your are an extra special guy who's uniquely deserving of your outcome will be dismissed, mocked, or denied. So, no. Fuck you. I don't have to sit there and let a motherfucker lie."
When someone should be listening to what you are saying but they are mentally too busy thinking of what they want to say or are interrupting you to get their point across or jump ahead of you telling the story because they can't wait for you to finish. This causes them to ask a question about the thing you are talking about before you are able to get it out or ask about something you said but they missed because they aren't really listening. As opposed to an active listener who is genuinely interested in hearing what you are trying to tell them regarding an incident or a story or information.
You: So I told her don't be all up in my business because. ..
Them: So she left or stayed or what?
You: I'm trying to tell you what happened. Don't be such a passive listener.
Similar to an onlooker but for listening.
That on-listener sure picked the wrong time to drop in for a listen. Now they think I am a serial killer
One who pretends to act like they are listening to what you are saying to them while they are actually just thinking of a response. These bastards have to follow every single clause that comes out of your mouth with something to the effect of: "Oh Yeah?" "Ahhhhhh" "Oh Alright" "I see" or one from the plethora of others.
I am really sick of the active listeners in this office. He knows exactly what you mean before you even say it... apparently.
Something a Enraged girlfriend can't do
Person: "OMG WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!"
You: "Listen I wa-"
Person: "NO YOU LISTEN TO ME WHY WOULD YOU FUCK MY DAD THINKING IT WAS ME"
You: "Are you even listening to me?"
A thing that a Vanessa often decides to not be bothered with.
"You are not listening are you?...."
"What? Whaa?"
"Exactly"