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Cool, Awesome, Sweet, Boss, Rad, Hip, Dope, Narly, The shit, Neat, Fabulous, That's hot, Money, Killer, Fantastic, Amazing, +1 Zing, Something that rocks.
Kid 1: Yo, I just found $100 dollars
Kid 2: That's bank!
Girl walks by.
Boy 1: Look at her, dude.
Boy 2: That is so bank!
Guy 1: I just bought World of Warcraft.
Guy 2: You are definately not bank!
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Short for investment banking, an industry devoted to squeezing money out of transactions, famous for paying a metric shitload, being filled with douchebags, and doing absolutely nothing for the benefit of society. It is amazing that anyone actually ends up in this industry, as you have to be very smart to get such a job, but very stupid to take it.
Common characteristics are:
1) 80-100+ hour weeks, rarely even a weekend day off. Although it pays a lot in absolute terms, if you consider it on a per-hour basis (including overtime pay), it's not too far above minimum wage.
2) Meaningless, tedious, mind-numbing work.
3) A constant false sense of urgency on all projects.
4) Bonuses almost as big and sometimes bigger than base salaries, that is if you survive until bonus time.
5) Ranking everyone in the firm on the scale {Analyst, Associate, Vice President, Director/Executive Director, Managing Director, and so on}, often even HR, secretaries, and sanitation workers. Contradictorily, an "Analyst" in HR doesn't analyze anything, and a "Vice President" really isn't very important or high up at all.
6) Consistently recruits top college graduates into voluntary sweatshop-like slave labor camps called "Analyst programs."
Vice President #1: "SHIT!!! I'm going to have to spend all weekend getting this investor request done!!!"
Vice President #2: "Calm down man, it's not due back to them til the end of next week!"
VP #1: "NO, it needs to be done NOW!!! Where are all those analysts we hired? One of them can do the mindless bitch work."
VP #2: "Um, one committed suicide, two ended up in the mental ward, and another drowned in the huge pool of bullshit."
VP #1: "DAMN IT!!! We need to hire a new one. How about that janitor analyst Joe?"
VP #2: "Um...I guess so..."
VP #1: "Hey Joe, do you want a job as a corporate finance I-banking analyst here at Goldman Sachs? We'll pay you $60,000 base and you'll probably get $60,000 more in bonus. All we need from you is to give up every waking hour of your life, your health, and your soul."
Joe: "No thanks, I'd rather unclog toilets. Besides, I already make $8 an hour - I don't want to take a pay cut."
VP #1: "OH SHIT!!! WE'RE SO SCREWED!!! This needs to get done NOW!!!"
VP #2: "Whatever man, just make Nick D do it."
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A pouch to puts ya secret monopoly moneys in.
Michelle: Where'd that $500 go?
Me: In theeeeeeeeeeeee tummy bank tummy bank tummy bank tummy bank tummy bank
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Home of Kevin Smith and sight of the "New Jersey trilogy," consisting of all five Jay and Silent Bob movies.
I'm bored. Let's hit Red Bank and chill on broad street.
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A crib where meth is made and distributed. Typically run by a meth head.
Buyer “Yo bro got any rocket fuel I can get for $10”
Dealer “Nah fam, gotta re-up with my plug at the local crank Bank”
Buyer “ain’t that just a trap house?”
Dealer “Bitch shut the fuck up, I was offering specification. Lowballin ass cracked out nigga”
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The material you read while pooping
I had an incredible poop today and used up all the material in my poop bank
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An event causing all operations at a financial institution to cease being that the attentions and desires of all female employees have been diverted by the presence of a gentleman.
Lame Dude #1: What's going on, yo? All the girlies are ignoring us and all throwing themselves at that one dude over there.
Lame Dude #2: I know. The last time I saw something this was when there was a Frank At A Bank.
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