someone who doesn't appear to share the same physical traits or language as a hick, but demonstrates similar behavioral characteristics and intelligence regardless of income level or professional status; an emerging icon of the twenty-first century that has caused a plethora of ignorance, injustice, retroactive retardedness across many professions and a state of arrested development in mind, body and spirit; low-quality or the entire lacking of humor; a straight laced, highly anxietic, religiously-fundamental, fear-driven man or woman who relies on the daily news and their perspective church sermons to pat them on the butt and tell them they're good people without having to exert any effort or sacrifice to aid their fellow man
The financial analyst may preach and glut about his latest understanding of the numbers, but deep down he's just another closet hick run by the tricks and traits of baby-boomer Bob.
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donβt open my monkey closet i said to the guy he did and he got eaten to death and died and there was blood
person 1: βdont open my monkey closetβ
person 2: *does*
there is blood
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Someone who seems really chill and relaxed but periodically suggests something very dark or unnerving.
"Jill seems like a real closet sociopath. Every time we play D&D she suggests torture."
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A co-worker that lures you in to thinking that mediocrity is commonplace at the office. Just when you think you are both on the same page he or she will make look bad by putting together elite spreadsheets, cutting edge PowerPoints, and insightful talking points at meetings.
John: Where is Lindsay? She normally takes a 2 hour lunch with us?
Jim: Oh you didn't know? Turns out she is a closet overachiever.
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The act of a woman hiding (taping down) her breasts to make people think she's a boy or man.
Hey Bob, Did you see Hilary Swank on the Oscar's Show last night in that low-cut see-through dress?? Man, she's got huge beautiful Mogambos!!! I can't believe that she had that 'closet rack' in the movie 'Boys Don't Cry'! I'm so happy to see that 'they' finally came out! Those titties are truly 'Million Dollar Babies'!!
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A bathroom
Watch my beer for me, I gotta run to the piss closet.
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1. Noun
-A girl/woman who is falsely kind, yet is secretly a total bitch. Someone who you are probably obligated in some way to maintain a friendly relationship with but actually despise.
2. Verb
-To lock a cunt in a closet.
1. That girl I work with is a total closet cunt. She likes to act friendly but does things to make my life hell.
2. I found a cunt and locked that bitch in a closet.
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