Random
Source Code
Random
Another term for prison. Prison is called this as many people who find them selves in prison only learn the newest tricks of the trade and how to keep it more real instead of being rehibilitated or learning the error of their ways.
Carlos did a B & E now hes off to Gangster College for 4 years.
Don't you worry man you get me $500 dollars to start out and ill turn it into $50,000. I got my masters at Rikers Gangster College.
33👍 3👎
A "college help forum" that breeds elite nerd factions. Everyone wants to know their "chances" of getting into a certain Ivy school, but everyone knows that if you don't have an inspiring life story you can't get in in the first place.
Another day at College Confidential...
Thread title: Chances
iluvphysics: Hey everyone, I want to know my chances of getting into the University of Chicago. Someone please tell me if these are remotely good enough?
Caucasian male, 5.1 GPA Freshman year
5.2 GPA Sophomore year
5.5 GPA Junior year
(weighted with extra summer classes)
2400 on the SAT, 36 on the ACT (re-took them 6 times)
President of Debate Club, French NHS, Science NHS, National Honor Society, Class Vice President, Treasurer for Spanish NHS, Art NHS,
Member of almost every club at school
Did Basketball, Tennis, and Track all four years, winning excessive awards and breaking more records than I have fingers,
Worked 3 jobs and was promoted my Senior year to leadership positions in all of them,
Recieved the Governor's Teen Award
Mayor's Top 10 award
National Merit Scholar
And numerous other academic awards,
Did 5000+ hours of community service,
Won the National Physics Bowl championship 4 years in a row
So will somebody PLEASE tell me if I have the FAINTEST chance of MAYBE getting in?
gradezarecool: I think you have a very strong chance of getting in, just like me.
mathdude101: And me!
SocratesSquared: Me, too. We'll all get in.
Thread title: Chances
chucknorris51: Hey guys, I want to get into the University of Chicago. Can someone help me out?
White dude from Colorado,
3.85 GPA Freshman year
3.65 GPA Sophomore year
4.06 GPA Junior year
(all weighted)
Did 70 hours of community service
Played tennis on JV for 3 years
Member of Gaming Club, French NHS, Science NHS
Got a 30 on my ACT
Worked a paper route for 4 years
Thanks
gradezarecool: YOU HAVE NO AWARDS?? No chance of getting in. You need at least a 36 on the ACT to even qualify.
mathdude101: OMG, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Not a chance. How could you even think of qualifying?
SocratesSquared: Wow, you're really stupid.
chucknorris51: Well, I did survive arm cancer when I was 4 years old and have been recovering all my life, even learning to play the guitar and tennis. What sets you guys apart?
gradezarecool: My extracurriculars.
mathdude101: My extracurriculars.
SocratesSquared: My extracurriculars.
chucknorris51: I see. So you really think I have no chance?
gradezarecool: NO CHANCE!!
mathdude101: NO WAY!!
SocratesSquared: I HAVE A TINY PENIS!! I mean, NO WAY!!
chucknorris51: Hah. Retards.
1440👍 277👎
A very small, very white, very catholic college in the ghettos of providence. 95% of students are carbon-copies of one another, not that that's a bad thing. they are generally attractive, white, upper middle class, moderately intelligent, with a super-human capacity for alcohol. fake ids are used more than school ids, and every day of the week has its designated drinking locale. oh, and also, there's a pretty decent basketball team.
Where do you go to school?
PC.
BC? Oh, that's a good school.
No, i said PC. Providence College.
Hmm, that's a good time up there, huh? (followed by winking, and nudging with elbow)
1011👍 193👎
A Christian college in Grand Rapids, Michigan U.S.A. Known for its Jesus freaks, hot snobby bitches, and shitty investments. Has a 99% acceptance rate because they don't hesitate to financially rape someones' pockets for $35K a year. Doesn't have any real sports. 100% dry campus. If you fuck someone in the dorms, they will kick you out. About 90% of the student body is composed of social retards who go there because they grew up in sheltered, Jesus loving, god fearing communities and are attempting to add four more years to avoiding the real world. Most students graduate in over four years due to the schools' curriculum of required theology and other bullshit classes that real schools don't teach. The student body is about as ethnically diverse as Toronto, Ontario (roughly 70% white, 30% asian, and about six blacks). The asians generally stay with one another and avoid white people like they're going to put them in concentration camps. Most of the guys are skinny dickless choches. The very small number of athletically toned guys have no problem tearing through the poon like it's spring break. The girls are stuck up twats who use their religion as an excuse as to why they claim to be virgins. Every girl there will put-out for a guy if his family is rich. Everyone there will piss themselves at the notion of atheists and other non-christian people. Best way to get someone to jerk off in front of you is to start talking about Jesus.
Normal college student: "So what did you do this weekend?"
Calvin college student: "I went to chapel and praised Jesus by the seminary pond. How about you?"
Normal college student: "I went to a party and got shitfaced then proceeded to show my genitalia to everyone and ended up waking up in a bed with two women and a pool of vomit next to me. It was about the usual."
Calvin college student: "You're going to hell."
Random Christian: "Excuse me, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?"
Calvin student: unzips pants
"I'm so sexually frustrated, I'm about to stick my dick in a light socket."
"My type of guy is one whose parents left him a six-figure trust fund."
923👍 177👎
There are three major college degrees one can achieve: B.S., M.S., and PhD. These initials stand for the following-
B.S.-bullshit
M.S.-more shit
PhD.-piled higher and deeper
class dismissed.
mick: hey, the new engineer's specs are all out of whack!! we'll never get this thing built with these numbers!!
rick: well, buddy, you've just discovered the secret to a college degree. it consists of B.S., M.S., and PhD.
dick: yeah, we all know that, butthead!
rick: are you sure? for these college degrees, the initials stand for bullshit, more shit, and piled higher and deeper!!!
everybody laughs; the engineer in question walks through and they laugh even harder
173👍 28👎
Adderall. It's a pharmaceutical amphetamine prescribed to people with attention deficit disorder. It is also abused by people without attention deficit disorder as a performance enhancer. It is often abused by college students to study vigorously for extended periods of time.
Dude, I sold my entire script of Adderall on campus in one day.
Yeah that stuff is college crack.
58👍 7👎
One of the shittiest colleges you can go to.
“I got accepted into Oberlin college”
“That’s one of the shittiest colleges you can go to”
34👍 4👎