lay hands on

verb. to acquire or gain posession of

There is no way I'll be able to afford that concert ticket unless I lay hands on some cash.

Were you able to lay hands on a copy of that CD?

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E-lay (Net-lay)

This refers to sex procured through the use of the internet. Going online, communicating with like-minded adult(s) and eventually, having sex. No money is exchanged between the individuals. It doesn't matter if you pay to join the site or just use it for free (you have much more access when you pay).

I have been chatting onine with this chick for months. Well, we finally met and did it almost right away. That was my first e-lay (net-lay) and I am looking forward to more.

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lay one

To flatulate (PC term for "fart").

"I need to lay one but I'm in public and I care about how I smell..."
-me

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Lay the bone

To lay the bone means to have sexual intercourse. Whether it be a man and woman or man and man etc.

"Mike Florio really needs to lay the bone with that attractive female across the room."

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lay it down

to record - slang in the music industry

In the music studio, the producer told the singer they were ready to lay it down

As in the movie the "The Rocker" - "John Lennon is rolling over in his grave to hide the giant boner you just gave him!

we're laying it down!"

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laying carpet

When a girl, with at least a little bit of bush, is fucking somebody really hard. Basically, the female version of laying pipe.

Joe: I was laying pipe on this girl so hard last night.
Fred: Oh yeah? were you laying pipe or was she laying carpet? you bitch..

Sara: What are you doing tonight?
Jenny: I'm going to the club, cause i'm planning on laying carpet tonight.

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Lay a loaf

Taking a massive shit. Used frequently by Andy Sipowicz on NYPD Blue.

I chowed down at Taco Bell eating a dozen Chaloopas; I gotta go lay a loaf on the bowl.

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