Dad

someone who doesn't bring back milk until you win the lottery or make it the NBA

Me: My dad never came back
Also me: HOLY SHIT! I JUST WON THE LOTTERY
Dad: Hey son, how long has it been

Dad

Family member who always disappears when you commit alive

Damn, my dad just died!

Dad

That one person that keeps trying to find milk and never manages

-Has your dad come home yet?
-Nope
-Oh. When did he leave?

-I don't remember.
-Ah well, mine came home yesterday.
-Really?
-No.

DAD

hes not here...

wheres my dad?

Dad

Please come back.

Me: Its been 9 years dad please come back with the milk

Dad

A living plant

Hey do you see that dad over , it’s gorgeous

Dad

Me

I am your dad you fucking bitch