comfort bearding

The act of growing a beard through times of great stress or hardship, usually to bring a sense of light relief to that person's life. Generally associated with tedious exam diets and/or feelings of complete ineptitude.

Dude, did you see the size of Jason's beard the other day?

Yeah man, he's been comfort bearding for the last month. These exams are soul-destroying.

chastity beard

A beard which girls find unattractive that a man grows when his girlfriend, who normally would make him shave, goes away for a long time. The beard repels other girls and thus ensures the man’s chastity.

Jake: What's that disgusting thing on your face?
James: That's just my chastity beard.
Jake: Oh right, your girlfriend is on vacation.

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Drake's Beard

This is the best beard on the face of the earth, this beard will but all others to shame and it will one day rule the world with its awesomeness. This beard will, at the end of its life ascend into heaven on wings, and become the new ruler of heaven and earth.

Man 1 "Dude did you see that Drake's Beard?"
Man 2 "Yeah that beard will some day rule us all."
Man 1 "I know what you mean, I wish my beard was that awesome."

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Bearded Clam

A Pussy that is very hairy.

My ex-Girlfriend has a Bearded clam.

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grow the beard

"Grow the beard" is an antonym of "jump the shark." In other words, it's when a show that starts off in Suck Town hits its stride. The term comes from Star Trek: The Next Generation, which started off terrible but began to get better when Commander Riker grew a beard at the beginning of season two.

"Man, the first season or two of The Simpsons blew, but after that the show started to grow the beard."

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Beards and Hats

Slang for B&H Photo, 420 9th Ave, N.Y., NY. The place is owned by, and mostly staffed by Hassidic Jews, who all have beards and wear hats (outside). B&H is the most popular photo supply store in the city, and on the internet (www.bhphoto.com) due to their excellent prices and customer service.

Jerry: I'm going to Beards and Hats to pick up some film and mat board.
Joe: Why don't you just order it from their website?
Jerry: beardsandhats.com isn't working
Joe: Moron.

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bearded clam

slang term for a vagina, in which the female does not shave. If you choose to go down on her, you'll probably get pubic hair in your teeth.

Man, I hooked up with this hot chick the other day, but I didn't eat her out because she had a bearded clam.

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