Random
Source Code
Random
They are total douchebags that have total and utter control over your life.
1.
Asshole dad: YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY NOW! YOU HAIR TOO LONG! SO UGLY!
Me: Why can't I look the way I want?
Dad: YOU LOOK LIKE GIRL! DO YOU WANT PEOPLE THINK YOU GIRL?!!?!??!?!?!
Me: How is 3 inch long hair girly?
Dad: NO MATTER WHAT, YOU MUST GET HAIRCUT TODAY! OR I TAKE YOU LAPTOP AWAY!
Me: ... *gets a lopsided haircut that makes me look like a fucking nerd. Asian parents fail. *
2.
Faghead dad: Did you do your homework today?
Me: Yeah
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: Yes.
Dad: did you do your homework today?
Me: YES!!!
Dad: WHY YOU YELL? YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO YELL AT ME!
Me: Well obviously you couldn't hear me so I had to yell
Dad: SHUT UP!!!
Me: Fine...
Dad: YOU ARE THE STUPIDEST KID EVER. *beats*
3.
This is a true story. I was in 4th grade, and my mom was trying to teach me how to add fractions. I didn't get it at the time, and here's what happened:
Mom: Do #1
Me: *does it, gets it wrong*
Mom: WRONG! HOW YOU FORGET? DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR!
Me: I'm trying!
Mom: WATCH!!! *does problem, expects me to magically know how to do it* Now do #2
Me: *still doesn't get it, gets it wrong*
Mom: STUPID! DO THE COMMON DENOMINATOR! *bitch slaps*
Me: *sobbing* I don't know how!
Mom: *angrily does the problem, and breaks the pencil in the middle* SHARPEN IT!
Me: *sharpens*
Mom: Now do #3!
Me: *gets it wrong. How does she expect me to learn this stuff in a day as a 4th grader?*
Mom: YOU ARE THE MOST STUPIDEST KID IN THE WORLD! *goes in a bitch slapping and punching frenzy*
Me: *ends up with lots of bruises*
4.
Fucktard dad: *watching '24' with me* This is the stupidest show ever. All it does is label chinese people as bad guys
Me: ... There are american terrorists too...
Dad: This is the most unrealistic stuff ever. Bullshit. How does jack survive everything?
Me: How come martial artists in chinese movies can fly? Unrealistic much?
Dad: Shut up
468👍 181👎
A CENSORING MOTHER FUCKER THAT MY EX GIRLFRIEND CANT GO TO A GMAIL ACCOUNT CAUSE THEY DONT WANT LIL KIDS TO LEARN HOW TO USE THE REAL INTENRNET. IMPLENTEND BY DICKS. I AINT GOT ANY. BUT IM SURE I CAN HACK THEM BY DOING THE GOOGLE CACHE VIEW!!! GOOGLE WILL PWN J00!!!!! IT IS CENSORWARE THAT CAN GO SUCK A DICK. heres some lowercase...
155👍 55👎
Legeslation or laws placing restrictions on people under 18.
Raising the Driving age to 18 is third parent Legeslatin
9👍 1👎
A really funny movie with Ben Stiller and Robert Deniro. Stiller plays the nurse boyfriend of Deniro's daughter. The movie is about Stiller meeting his girlfriend's parents but her father (Deniro) doesn't like him very much.
A male nurse named Gaylord Focker is the funniest thing ever.
43👍 12👎
A facebook friend, you may or may not know well, who gives parental advice on every update they read. You think about deleting them as a friend every time you see you have an update from them.
-Mary: Having a bad day; wish I had more money.
-Facebook Parent: Mary I know a great financial planner who could help you. Also my sister in law is a credit counselor I really think you need to learn about money management.
-Mary: Last night was insane I cant even remember his name but I hope I see him again!
-Facebook Parent: Mary you should be careful you could have been killed! What if you end up being pregnant you wont even know who the father is!!
I posted pics of my birthday party on Facebook today and Elisabeth commented that I need to wear clothes that cover more and that I should take some pictures when Im not holding a bottle! She is such a Facebook Parent!
22👍 5👎
A rude uncaring prick that acts like you are there just to serve them. They assume you have no life and love to watch their brats for little money. They think you shouldn't mind if they are late or rude.
The dumb daycare parent was late again today picking up and conviently forgot to pay me.
34👍 9👎
A true super hero among parents. Theese are the overly strict, Straight-A requiring parents. Due to their strictness there children aren't that fond of them.
Guy one: "Dude, can you go tonight"
Guy two: "No, my super parents said no"
Guy one" "Big surprise"
15👍 3👎