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A Glorious Religion Founded In 2008 By The Fantastic And Glorious Mary. Based On Christianity But Highly Influencing Wikipedia As The Place Of Answers (Not To Be Confused With The Bible Which Is The Ultimate Book). Legend Has It That Mary Would Ride Around In A Cart Pulled By A Bike, Preaching About The Religion. She Would Be Seen Wearing A Hanging Basket On Her Head And Long Purple Robes. This Fashion Is Followed By Many Wikapedians Today. Wikipedians Worship In Wikathedrals. The Wiki Theme Tune Is Afterlife By Avenged Sevenfold And Motto "Give Mary Stuff!".
OH Look At That Nice Wiki On Their Wy To The Wikathedral
I Think i Will Join The Church Of Wiki
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Receiving a blow job from a straight male member of the clergy when you are a gay man seeking spiritual counseling, because you wish to be straight.
The good book says this is wrong, so why are you blowing me father? Son I am begging you, please let me play the church organ?
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Bling seen at church. For example: golden crosses, silver candlesticks, fancy scepters, funny hats or decorated robes.
Look at all the church bling in here. They're not collecting money for the poor - they're probably getting spinnaz for the popemobile.
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The Church of Shakira is a growing online movement of people around the world who have come together to recognize Shakira as The Goddess of Happiness and Joy. They worship her and Her divine hips which the give her the power to spread joy and love all around the world through her music. The Church officially gained a footing in the summer of 2018 on twitter going by @church_shakira and shortly after, an Instagram page going by the handle @churchofshakira.
Though it can be classified as a religion, The believers of the hips believe it is not mutually exclusive to other religions meaning you can be a member of the Church of Shakira without leaving your current faith. They believe Shakira's purpose as a goddess is to make the world a better place and inspire others to do the same. The Church of Shakira aims to organize the efforts of those who believe in the powers of the Eternal Hips so Shakira's efforts are not in vain. Membership in the Church of Shakira does not require full devotion to Shakira but at least acknowledgment of the power of Shakira and her Omnipotent Hips and the understanding that her Hips NEVER lie.
PERSON 1: Have you visited the Church of Shakira's instagram page?
PERSON 2: Yes! One look and I'm already praising the Hips and blasting Shakira music!
PERSON 1: huh, Someone told me it was a cult...
PERSON 2: Definitely not! When have you ever heard of a cult that wants to spread joy happiness and peace through the world using music???
PERSON 1: I guess you're right HER HIPS DON'T LIE!!!!!
PERSON 2: AND I'M STARTING TO THINK ITS RIGHT!!!
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A megachurch located in Northern California. Well-known for its Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) and its Christian music label. It is also well known for its multi-pastoral support of the Trump presidency (including prophecy that the impeachment would not be seen through) and a church leader speaking out publicly against masks. Also known for one of its worship leaders traveling the country during the COVID-19 pandemic hosting mass worship events. Also known for its Changed Ministry which claims to "resolve same-sex attraction" through encountering the love of Jesus. Also known for its public stance against the Equality Act.
"Oh Bethel Church? Yeah their Changed ministry really traumatized me as a gay person."
"Bethel Church used to be where I connected to God the most, but once I learned about their Changed movement & other stances on social justice & politics, it became too painful to even go anymore."
The look on someones face of utter disapproval and disgust characterized by an attitude of moral superiority while outwardly saying Jesus loves you.
When I was parking my car at the store listening to my loud music a lady walked by staring at me with her church face judging me.
A group of friends from Canada that shit post, send dank/dark memes and roast each other.
Person 1: Well I'm going to Hell for the stuff that I post.
Person 2: You must be from The Horse Church.