May all yer turtles hae' three heids

This is a traditional Scottish saying in rural Stirlingshire which means as it sounds in English 'May your turtles have 3 heads'. It is a phrase typically used by those who aim to wish a person a deep sleep. It is unclear of the origins of the phrase, especially as there are no wild turtles in Scotland and Stirlingshire has no coast, however it may have originated when Scotland was a driving force of the commonwealth.

"I'm aff tae bed now, cheery ho"
"Aright then, May all yer turles hae' three heids"
"Thanks pal, and yae tae"

May all yer turtles hae' three heids

If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?

A phrase heard in the Pink Floyd song, "Another Brick in the Wall". Extremely funny.

Son: "Mom, can I have some pudding?"
Mom: "You haven't eaten your meat yet."
Son: "But mom!"
Mom: "Son, you know that: 'If you don't eat yer meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat yer meat?"
Son: "Don't be quoting Pink Floyd on me again..."

Juss flappin' yer coat-tails

In other words, juss sassin' ya. Comes from da playful-but-annoying practice of coming up behind someone who's wearing a long jacket with a divided lower back, grabbing da jacket just above da slit, and then vigorously/rapidly yanking da lower part of da jacket in and out to make da pair of tails slap against da person's butt.

Me: If yer too warm, why doncha go take a dip in da ocean?
You: Jump in da ocean??? Are you crazy??? It's chilly and whitecaps-windy out there!
Me: I know, I know... juss flappin' yer coat-tails...! :D

You gotta put yer sockchs onnn

The act of putting your socks on when inhaling paint fumes and sleep deprivation catch up to you

Person 1: Eyy bro I'm really tired and I'm feeling gooood after inhaling these paint fumes

Person 2:You gotta put yer sockchs onnn

Diddlin’ Yer Doingus

Verb - The act of diddling one’s doingus

Hey bro, I tried to call you last night but I guess you were too busy diddlin’ yer doingus.

yer ane fawt

Scottish Slang (Mainly the Ayrshire and Glasgow Area) and means 'Your own Fault'

Don't try and blame anyone else its yer ane fawt you got caught

Suck Yer Mum

Lewis Brown's favourite saying

Ben: "Lewis..."

Lewis: "SUCK YER MUM"