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Masturbating. The act of touching oneself to produce a favorable feeling in the groin area. Usually accompanied by some sort of mental, visual, or audio stimulation to assist in reaching climax.
I could not sleep last night so ended up Petting a Unicorn.
When your friend acts like your personal pet and does thing for you on his/her own
A total loser who noone likes and everyone makes fun of behind their back because they suck up to a teacher, usually laughing at ALL of their bad jokes and commonly ask, "Is there anything I can do to help?", etc.
Ms. Shilderez: (Bad joke)
Anna: Hahahaha, you're so funny!
Sane person: She is SUCH a teacher's pet!
Other sane person: I know, right?!
48👍 36👎
A significant other who is mostly ornamental. Someone who you are in a superficial relationship with, usually a ditz kept around mostly for sexual gratification.
Her and I aren't exactly discussing philosophy, she's more of a house pet.
25👍 17👎
The name for all of those dirty little footprints left on your car's windshield by wayward cats which are using your vehicle as a place to hang out.
"Hey, I just washed my car yesterday and now its covered with car-pets again! Those stray cats are driving me crazy!!
26👍 18👎
A strip club that lets you touch the strippers
-yo man, how was that new strip club you went to last night?
-dude, I couldn't even touch the girl I dropped $500 on. Next time I'm gonna make sure it's a petting zoo before I go!
10👍 8👎
The large ball of hair you pull out of the shower drain after a couple days.
Wife: Honey, the drain is clogged again!
Hudband: Damnit, that's because you clogged it with your chia pet again.
26👍 19👎