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Wal*Mart Worker

Found primarily in the Northern Middle West section of the United States, a highly skilled, extremely reliable species formerly known as a "lathe operator" or "foundry worker". Typically known to have paid taxes, served in the armed forces, engaged in longstanding monogmous relationships with a female of the same species. Usually producing a "family" of four children that "lathe operator" proudly sent off to college that he mostly paid for. Formerly earned $30/hr. at Ford Motor Company. Metamorphosis into "Wal-Mart Worker" seems to occur upon the onset of middle-age when "lathe operator" and "foundy workers" travel to Mexico for several weeks and engage in apparent transfer of skills and expertise to native Mexican species. Metamorphosized "Wal-Mart worker" emerges from habitat after several months after he returns from Mexico during a period of dormancy called "unemployment". Species is usually found in a red vest showing teeth at other North American species and saying, "Welcome to Wal-Mart". Species appears to be less vigorous in metamorphosized state.

Dad's doing OK, even though he's pretty depressed now that he can't do his trade the way he used to; he's become a Wal*Mart worker.

by Thinking Republican February 26, 2008

13๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


Wal-Mart God

A deity lower income individuals pray to when wanting to bring good fortune into their lives.

The neighborhood Wal-Mart is the sanctuary. The congregation is the local inbred.

Oh Wal-Mart God,

Please bring your smiley face to the electronics section to lower the price on the 32 inch plasma television. And yea, allow me to buy the Remington 870 with the ammo today. Dear Lord, I had to take a rain check on the Dale Jr. beach towel. Please speed the trucks to my location so I can have that before the Watkins Glen race. Cigarettes are not on sale for name brand and I pray that you see it in your heart to forgive Phillip-Morris for raising prices. I ask that you help me find my Tweedy Bird slipper I lost chasing Rickey Dale Jr. through the parking lot where I left his dirty diaper for someone else to clean up. Finally I would like to thank you for allowing me to spank my kids in the toy section with no penalty from the local authorities.

In Samโ€™s name we pray,

Amen

by Stinky MacBurr June 23, 2009

29๐Ÿ‘ 7๐Ÿ‘Ž


Wal-Mart Whore

A (usually) overweight woman wearing far too much makeup and trashy clothing that you see clinging to the arm of a different elderly man and making a beeline for the jewelry department every time you go to Wal-Mart.

Did you see that woman? She was with a toothless Nascar enthusiast yesterday and today she's with a fat old man. She's obviously the local Wal-Mart Whore.

by Not the local Wal-mart Whore November 14, 2007

29๐Ÿ‘ 8๐Ÿ‘Ž


Wal-Mart whack

A powerful punch executed during fights at Wal-Mart during the holiday shopping season, usually in a battle over the last $69 TV, $199 laptop, or other gift item. The frequency of Wal-Mart whacks reaches its pinnacle on Black Friday, as well as Christmas Eve.

Christmas Shopper 1: "Man, that guy got knocked out cold"

Christmas Shopper 2: "Yeah, he got a pretty good Wal-Mart whack right to the jaw. He's not getting that laptop now!"

by Tmanc December 5, 2010

8๐Ÿ‘ 1๐Ÿ‘Ž


Wal-Mart

Best thing since sliced bread.

HEY ITS WAL-MART!!!

by BASHTARD-CHILD June 26, 2009

2๐Ÿ‘ 10๐Ÿ‘Ž


being wal mart

To be as cheap ass as you can be when buying a product with no regards to where it's made, how it's made, or how the people who made it were paid and treated.

Shopper's friend: "Hey, check out these nice S&M BMX frames.....they are U.S. Made and dope as fuck!"

Shopper: "Yeah, but Dan's Comp sells this Eastern frame for only $250 and hey, it's on sale for an additional $50 off if I buy it today!"

Shopper's friend: "Stop being wal mart about it and spend the extra cash to get a good quality U.S. Made product....yo!!"

by manual63 April 15, 2013


Wal-Mart Face

A mug with no distinguishable or unique characteristics, peppered with a tinge of redneck flare. Not ugly enough to remember, but far from attractive.

Did you see the chick in the blue shirt? Talk about a Wal-Mart face.

by Nicky ThreeFiddy G. September 8, 2008

12๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž