keyed up

really high on cocaine
(presumably because you've been using car *key* to bump cocaine in some bathroom)

one more bump before we go?
naw, i'm all keyed up, let's roll.

140👍 42👎

Shift Key

The key no one EVER bloody fucking uses. This key is normally ignored by morons, imbeciles, ignorants, dumbasses, shitbirds, and all around -twats-.
Morons that ignore this beautiful key, often forget many other, wonderful, things you can do with a keyboard.
See: GrammarPunctuation
People on the internet often come back with a big, bullshit argument based on the 'fact' that no one bother to type things correctly on the computer because its a waste of time.
Well you know what, shitbird? If you learn how to type, and practice good grammar, punctuation, and spelling, eventually typing like this on the computer is easy. I, personally, think writing "omfglaewlers, 1 jst t0k @ sh1t! LOL!"

Shitbird (someone who ignores shift): hi wasszup lol
Me: After you go to sleep tonight, i`m going to fucking murder you with a rusty butter-knife.

Shitbirdtwo: Omfg laewl u r so stupid ppl don typ gud on the cmpt bcse its hrd lol pls shift key dsnt evn mke sense lOL
Me: Go fall in a well and DIE.

41👍 10👎

off key

Singing in the wrong note or pitch; flat or sharp.

Kenny,Kevin,Jim,Jamie,Matt,Matt,Robert,Jason,Jon,Bill,Tom,Uriah,Harun,Hayden,Harvey,Fargo and Theo are all horrible singers,the way they always sing off key.

11👍 1👎

alt key

The key used on Windows for numerous reasons.

1. For simple access to menu items. Why did they make the mouse then?
2. For simple access to widgets, or window items. Once again, a complete use of no mouse.
3. To make special characters. By holding down Alt, typing a number on the number pad, and letting go of alt, you can create little e's like é, or a's like å, or so on. Unfortunately, this is a blatant copy of the Macintosh operating system BUT in a much more confusing interface. Once again, for example, pushing option-e then e on the Mac gives you é. On windows... i don't even know the combination. It's too confusing.
4. Used in the ominous key command Ctrl-Alt-Delete.

1. Press Alt-F for the File menu.
2. Press Alt-G to change the option.
3. Press Alt-156 for some strange character.
4. Duh.

14👍 2👎

church key

a bottle opener

Hey Joe, where'd you leave the church key. This ain't no twist off, y' know.

135👍 43👎

Key load

An amount of cocaine (or any other drug) that can be measured by loading up a key (see: key bump).

“Yo guess how much coke I did last night? I did a whole key load!”

Meant to be used as a pun making your friends hear that you did a “whole kilo of coke”

Key pistol

A ring of keys that most custodial engineers wear as to intimidate others.

Melvin has the biggest key pistol in the county, he is head custodian at the college. Nobody will challenge his know how.. Quite frankly he's the go too guy !!