Golden Field goal

When a man straddles a woman on a toilet, stands facing her. The woman sitting with her legs spread in a V shape, the man tries to still between her legs and into the toilet while giving a simultaneous golden shower to the face.

The first time I tried to make a golden field goal, I slipped on my second step. So I shit on both of her legs and she was covered in piss from one set of lips to the other.

3👍 1👎

musty goal tender

When a woman has been working out and her pubes get tied in knots thus blocking all trys for entry

I tried to get busy at lunch but she had a musty goal tender

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field goal face

a huge gap in her teeth, enough possibly to kick a field goal.

shes got field goal face...you can kick a field goal through her teeth..nasty.

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scored an own goal

Having made out with someone of the same sex.

Tom scored an own goal at a drunken party.
Sara scored an own goal out on a hen night.

2👍 2👎

any holes a goal

saying used by camp/gay/bisexual people

"Phil: hey Steve, did you give Andrew anal?"
"Steve: any holes a goal"

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pull back the foreskin goal

A goal scored on FIFA from behind the halfway line whilst pulling back the left analog stick to increase height and altitude

Player 1: I'm going to have a shot from behind the halfway line.
Player 2: It's never gonna go in.
Player 1: I'll just pull back on the left analog stick to make it go higher.
*shot goes in*
Player 2: Oh mate, you've just scored a pull back the foreskin goal!

if its a hole its a goal

literally every hole in the human body is a place for a man to stick his cock.

usally said in jest, but some sick people mean it

"oh dude, i can't belive you fucked her in the ear"
"If its a hole its a goal!"

72👍 13👎