no father figure

its mean your dad left you

You have no father figure.

4👍 2👎

Father Rizzmas

He pulls with his big jiggly belly
In this workshop, elves don’t make the toys.

They are the toys

A person with mystical levels of rizz

Bro’s got father rizzmas levels of rizz

6👍 3👎

Father Timing

This is when older people take a longer, more difficult time to do things. Sometimes, just because they can.

*an elderly couple taking a very long time to back out of a parking spot that you’re waiting for*

You: Holy fuck, they’re father timing us so hard right now.

4👍 1👎

Indirect Father

When you ejaculate and the wind causes it to hit someone's vaginal region thus impregnating them.

Most commonly found under the occurrence of a hurricane.

There was a hurricane in my town while I was masturbating, I accidentally became an Indirect Father because of it!

4👍 1👎

Father's day

The day where you start to see how big of a gentleman ya father really is.What?Your father doesn't just say "You don't bring me anything" like he does for me every year?Wow,you guys must be having a bad time whenever June comes over.At least it's still March :) but then there's mother's day.Come on guys,go prepare!

Friend:So I bought USA's strongest tank,some deodorant that is guaranteed to get my stepdad all them girls,and some new manly ass shoes that will ironically make other shoes dirty instead of themselves when being stepped on.All that for June 21st.
Me:Duuuuuude,chill.Father's day is just a day.That's way too much stuff to buy for a day.Plus,your mom was out of her damn mind when she decided to marry that selfish idiot.
Friend:You talkin' trash about my parents?Let's see what karma has to say about this.
Karma:Hey what's up guys it's biggie cheese.
Friend:Wrong line!
Me:Does this happen every single year?Anyway,in father's day,my father be like: "You don't have to bring me anything." It just really frustrates me! *Proceeds to talk some nonsense for the next ten minutes*
Friend:I have been successfully convinced to hate father's day now.

4👍 1👎

Father's Day

A day to celebrate all the men around the world that presumed the role of a father in a child's life. Often overlooked and made about single mothers

Happy father's day dad!

4👍 1👎

your father

1) A variation on the insult Your Mother. Can be more successful than your mother because when used right can also question a mans sexuality.

2) An equally as witty comeback for Your Mother

Also see your matt

person 1: Hey, You suck
person 2: your mother
person 1: no, your father
person 2: you suck
person 1: No, your matt

16👍 9👎