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Laurens are whores. i should know this because my name is lauren.
have you seen lauren today? shes a whore.
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Lauren is a wild child. She always likes to hoe it down (hoedown throwdown of course). She's adventurous, but has a mature soul, making her the perfect fit for working in palliative care. She is always very polite to her teachers in order to get what she wants. She is best at playing a pedophile in drama productions.
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Smart, strong, beautiful (not) young girl who is always craving sex
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That one girl who few people truly love. She is amazing but no one ever invites her to do anything with them. She is very sensitive but does her best to appear strong. If you know a lauren make sure to tell her how beautiful and loved she is.
Why doesn’t lauren ever come along with us?
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Lauren is a BAD BITCH. She knows what she wants and all hell will break lose if she is denied. DO NO FUCK WITH HER. If you try and play with this squirel bitch she will rip your fucking dick out. Cross her at your own risk
"YOU GONNA DIE!" "You can't kill me, imma lauren"
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Lauren is a unique woman who claims to be from North Jersey but in reality is from SLOWER JERSEY (AKA South Jersey). This is a sensitive issue and any mention of it should be avoided.
Lauren does NOT enjoy grocery shopping but chooses instead to “Shop On Line.” She does this because of her inability to control her violent urge to assault other shoppers by punching them in the throat when they get in her way. She is known to have low tolerance for other individuals shopping at the same time as her. Lauren is well known in the store for using the “Shop At Home” option but then NOT going to the store to claim her shopped items...
In addition to the above, Lauren is also known as an “Excellent Driver” like Rainman. She claims to enjoy road trips but does not enjoy driving in NYC or other inner city environments because of all the congestion. Be careful when she is on the road or behind you because her urge to drive you off the road is definitely a factor.
Lauren is also excellent at harvesting kidney’s from men. She has lots of surgical tools including Flunitrazepam (also known as Rohypnol among other names) and with lots of contacts on the black market & dark web, she can make a nice profit on the harvested organs.
But don’t let the above fool you. She is an AMAZING woman who is fun to chat with, is beautiful, articulate, funny with a razor sharp wit and if given the chance, will definitely steal your heart and kidney at the same time.
Oh no... is that Lauren pushing a shopping cart into the Supermarket???? YES it is... better call EMS now, there are going to be a LOT of casualties.
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