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Kinda like a slave.
The average people of New Zealand, a country in the South Pacific with extreme centrist politics and deep resentment for anything that suffers. They’re lovely people, just don’t expect them to care much about anything outside their sphere.
Rogernomics has pervaded every aspect of the known universe to the typical kiwi, a blind and gormless creature trapped on an island under dark and mysterious foreign influences. Socially defined by the legacy of Jimmy Busby (a legendary Aussie pisshead,) together Billy Hobson and his Merry Band of Psychopaths, The NZ Police, better known as ‘The Pigs’, continue to enforce the marginalisation of anything that looks weird to them, thus defining the general mood of entitled NIMBYism amongst kiwis, the aspiring Mum & Dad Investor.
Whilst kiwis are held up as an emblem of New Zealand, they are in fact quite rare. Most of them are actually experimental automatons, deployed to model optimal consumer behaviour in order to test new and novel population level manipulation techniques in a controlled environment. Kiwis are test subjects, mostly ignorant of their surreptitious paradigm of self determination and participation in wider society.
When we first arrived in New Zealand, my family and I were so grateful for the opportunity. Kiwis were so nice and welcoming and everybody was so kind, I got a job in a taxi which paid almost as much as I earned as an orthopaedic surgeon in India. The hospitals here are fine establishments, the kiwi doctors were very professional when my son was beaten to bloody pulp at school for being different. Our kiwi landlord is a kind man, he’s giving us a big discount so we only pay $22,000 a month for a very comfortable apartment in Sandringham, and there are only nine families sharing two showers and three toilets! I’m sure he will repair the holes and leaks soon, it’s only been three years since we mentioned it to him and he’s very busy with all his RSE workers.
The cutest dog in existence. Wears a frog hoodie and sleeps in your lap if you are nice with her. Belongs to a girl who also has a frog bucket hat.
N: Is that kiwi in the middle of the street?
A: KIWI COME HERE
A dumbass fruit that's got no reason to exist. The furry fuck is usually used on beat a furry day!
John: Ever eat a kiwi?
Bill: What the fuck is a kiwi?
John: You know, that weird furry shit!
A nickname for a person who likes kiwi fruit or who starts with the letter k. They typically have dirty blond hair and confusing eyes. They are fast runners and very athletic. Usually girls go by this nickname. They are so pretty/handsome and are the most kind people you will ever meet.
Girl1: omg kiwi is sooo nice.
Girl2: she must love kiwi fruit or something. I wish I was that nice.
The most amazing sweetest gecko who looks like a kiwi(yes the fruit)
LOOK ITS MY GECKO KIWI
omg hes adorable
WHY THANK YOU
Its a harry styles song on the HS1 album
and its flipping amazing I know it by heart
mom: what fruits do you want
me: kiwis, please
my mom: why and arent you allergic
me: because SHE WORKED HER WAY THROUGH A CHEAP PACK OF CIGARETTES HARD LIQUOR MIXED WITH A BIT OF INTELLECT AND ALL THE BOYS THEY WERE SAYING THEY WERE INTO IT SUCH A PRETTY FACE ON A PRETTY NECK....