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Chuck norris once sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th, but because Jesus was too afraid to tell Chuck that his real birthday was not on the 25th, Christams is celebrated that day.
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Chuck norris was the fourth Wise Man, he gave jesus the gift of facial hair
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when somebody sneezes they may need a tissue, when Chuck norris sneezes, he asks for body bags.
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Chuck norris sweats bullets AND guns.
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Chuck norris doesnt travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of chuck norris.
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Chuck norris' tears cure cancer, diabetes, hep. B, AIDS, HIV and polio.....too bad he never cries.
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Chuck norris caused the big bang...he round house kicked an infinitely dense point of matter that he squeezed between his eye lids, thus creating the universe.
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Chuck norris created the pyramids while saving a group of children from a burning schoolbus. after he created them, he round house kicked the children to death and then forced the jewish slaves to build them again assuring them their efforts will be remembered. he then proceeded to build the parthanon, the colliseum and the tower of babel.
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Chuck norris doesnt age unless chuck norris wants to.
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Chuck get what Chuck want: the 11th commandment.
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Chuck norris visited Spain and saw than it wasnt connected to europe, he then proceeded to take a crap between then two masses and created France.
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Chuck Norris round house kicked switzerland...that's why the cheese has holes in it.
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Chuck norris doesnt read, he looks at a book and absorbs the text.
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Chuck norris once convinced god that he was sitting in his seat. god had no other choice but to move, lest he get kicked in the teeth.
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If you stare into chuck norris' eyes, you will ascend into heaven, then you'll explode and plumet into hell.
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Chuck norris doesnt gamble, the casinos pay him.
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Chuck norris once had a staring contest with the sun...Chuck won and that's why we have nighttime.
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a blind man once bumped into chuck norris, feeling pity, chuck norris cured the man of his blindness...the last thing the man saw before he died was a very manly foot smashing into his face.
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Chuck norris has only once missed a round house kick strike, he hit the ground and created the grand canyon.
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Urban Dictionary won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you
*BAM!*
You got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
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If you have never heard of Chuck Norris then you must be a cave person that lives in a dark hole.
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Google will not search for Chuck Norris, because it knows that you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
No standard web pages containing all your search results were found.
Your search-Chuck Norris-does not match any documents.
Suggestions-
~Run, before he finds you.
~Try a different person.
"...it knows that you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you."
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Chuck Norris was originally in the video game Street Fighter 2, but was removed by beta testers when every button made him do a round-house kick. When asked about this glitch, Chuck Norris replied, "It's not a glitch."
Chuck Norris is a mean son of a bitch.
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2 be or not 2 be? that is the question. the answer? chuck norris
whats the meaning of life? chuck norris
when the dinosaurs became extinct it wasnt because of a meteorite, it was because of chuck norris
one time adam and eve had a party in the garden of eden. they failed to invite chuck norris so he roundhouse kicked them out of the garden and shoved an apple down adams throat, which created the adams apple
the united states could save billions in defense funding if they trade the military for chuck norris
chuck norris invented fire when he was staring at a piece of log and laser beams shot from his eyes
chuck norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with laser beams from his eyes
chuck norris does not get frostbite. chuck norris bites frost
science fact: roundhouse kicks r comprised primarily of an element called chucktanium
Chuck Norris + Roundhouse Kick - Bruce Lee = Jackie Chan & Jet Li
once chuck norris played the best poker player in the world. he won using his laser vision to burn the other mans cards
chuck norris once rode a bull, and nine months later it had a calf
chuck norris puts the ass in assassinate. by this i mean he roundhouse kicks ur ass
when arnold says the line "i'll be back" in the first terminator movie it is implied that is he going 2 ask chuck norris for help in the sequels
the first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets chuck norris
the movie kill bill is actually a childhood biography of chuck norris
when chuck norris does a pushup, he isnt lifting himself up, hes pushing the earth down
when chuck norris jumps into a pool, he dosent get wet, the pool gets chuck norrised
one time a man asked chuck norris for directions. to make his point, he grabbed another man, and ripped out his heart, painted n,s,e,w in their directions with the blood, jabbed a magnet down the mans throat, put him on the ground and spun him.
chuck norris once worked as a weatherman for the san diego evening news. every night he would make the same forecast: partly cloudy with a 75% chance of pain
chuck norris doesnt daydream. he's too busy giving other people nightmares
the word kill was invented by chuck norris. other words were die, beer, and please
chuck norris went to america before christopher columbus, but after roundhouse kicking all the natives, he got bored and retired to anarctica
if u ask chuck norris what time it is, he always says, two seconds til. after u ask, two seconds til what? he roundhouse kicks u in the face
the only creature to ever have defeated chuck norris is curious george, not because he was strong, but was too cute
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1. The Most Amazing action hero ever.
2. The best types of jokes ever.
Chuck Norris Doesn't do push ups... he pushes the world down.
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