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The tough guys behind keyboards
I posted something that someone didn't like and the Facebook Mafia came after me to blast my post.
A poser jackass who posts stuff on facebook just for likes or any form of attention eg " its a beautiful day, hope everyone's enjoying the weather". Will also post anything pretending to lead a glamorous, fun filled, extensively traveled life with a prestigious job. In reality, he's just a blue collar, hourly paid, loser who spends all his time on facebook lurking and stalking. He lives in bumfuck America, but uses foreign phrases and spelling hoping people will think that he spends so much time abroad he's forgotten the American ways. He joins pages of professional organizations and the like, when in reality he holds no real degree or professional license of any sort. Will have hundreds of friends usually of the opposite sex but has never spoken or communicated with them. Will use other people's friends lists to shop for friends of the opposite sex. His friends list looks like it's a mail order bride catalog or listings from Back Page because those are usually the only type of people who accept his friend requests. Spends hours tagging other's pix but has none of his own (because it would reveal his true lame ass life). Posts updates about going to the gym, but is a lard ass who looks like he's never set foot in one. On the whole, he's someone you immediately regret friending. A true douche bag fraud.
Did you see the latest post by the Facebook fuktwat? Evidently he thinks " American gyms are shite. Full stop!". What a stalker douchebag!
When you no longer see a person irl but you're still friends on Facebook and might even occasionally interact.
Person 1: "I saw Sarah today, did you go to her babyshower?"
Person 2: "Sarah from high school? No we're Facebook formal, I saw pictures though."
A lady of a certain age who, spending too much time on Facebook, has lost the ability to interact socially with actual humans and no longer has any boundaries of courtesy, respect or civility. They derive a sense of purpose from badly informed social media crusades, travel in packs, and can be identified by their cognitive dissonance.
Likely to have a celebrity in their underwear as their profile picture, while cover photo will be an inspirational quote that can best be summed up as:
I'm a bit fucked up & will act like a child but if you have a problem with that, it's your own fault'
Low levels of self awareness result in over use of Snapchat filters and a unswerving belief that they are still a size 10.
Husband (if present at all) likely to be mortified by the drunken, argumentative ramblings and relieved that these only take place on non-bingo nights.
Chronic inability to spell disgusting.
Shazzer: More FB kick offs tonight hun?
Jules: Nah babe, it's wednesdee, bingo night!
Shazzer: Facebook ma!
Trolls that put a full assault on a Facebook post.
Dude, your post is infested with Facebook lice!
Ruining your product trying to catch up with a quickly rising competitor, constant updates that don't actually improve anything, risking integrity and original goals out of fear of becoming obsolete
Man, Mozilla is really pulling a facebook with all the useless updates since Firefox 4.
Yeah, they're only making it easier for Google to swoop up all of their users with Chrome
Use of babies in photographs to emphasize that one's relationship status is definitely not 'single', or, if one is single, see baby cock block.
See Facebook for examples of the Facebook baby shield.