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the holy jesus

for people into shit fetishes this ones for you after a long period of anal fucking a bird that had a bad case of the shits you stand and stretch like jesus on the cross then the girl still in the doggy position sprays you from head to foot in shit causing the holy jesus effect its a mix of holy shit and jesus

oh mighty god i pray to thee that you give this woman thy power to spray thee in feocal matter from thy head to thy foot therefore giving me thy power of the holy jesus

by anal*smear July 25, 2008


Jesus Juice

Midwest slang for orange juice containing the drug propylhexedrine aka Benzedrex. The drug can be bought over the counter in the form of a nasal inhaler normally used for allergies. If you break the inhaler and take out the cotton inside and soak it in orange juice or any acidic beverage for 24 hours the active ingredient (propyl) is extracted. Propyl has similar effects to amphetamine and methamphetamine and induces a state of intense focus and euphoria. It is also horrible for your vascular system and causes severe vasoconstriction.

In simple terms you will go sicko mode and probably will end up on meth if you weren’t already when you took the Jesus Juice. It’s called Jesus Juice because it makes you feel like Jesus and it will bring you back from the dead.

Me: Hey bro do you want some speed laced orange juice?

Homie: Oh, shit did you put your Vyvanse into OJ?

Me: Nah I ran out like a week ago, this is Jesus Juice! It feels just as good if not better. You can feel your brain cells dying so it must be good.

by danasp_42 December 27, 2019


Jesus Smuggling

Ha! Hahaha! Good for you! I'm proud of you!

Hym "Yeah, no he IS Jesus Smuggling. He do be doing that. That's funny that you actually called him out for it. Even after the fact. It's so dishonest. By defining God thay way it implicit that the people who consider it an active and sentient being that has acted upon reality on several occasions by engaging in direct dialogue with key figures thought history. And he hates ME because his sophistry doesn't work on me."

by Hym Iam December 29, 2023


jesus stick

a vape

Hey Bobbie, can I see your Jesus stick for a sec?

by cattle graze April 07, 2019


andrea del mar de jesus romero

a puerto rican girl who’s often quiet but secretly super cool. everyone wants to be her friend but u need to get into her bubble first. she’s a bit of a tiny person so be careful not to lose her at parties. if you do accidentally lose her, set out a bowl of rice and beans and she will show up. she’s a cutie with a magnetic vibe. keep her close.

oh damn is that “ andrea del mar de jesus romero” pls take a pic of me next to her, i want people to think i’m cool

by mamaguebomarko May 31, 2023


go find jesus

When your credit card customer service agent is refusing to help you with an issue and they keep repeating something irrelevant to your current problem over and over and over again - so often that you finally get upset and raise your voice, and then they threaten to end the call as if that's a threat, so you ask for their employee number and they say, yes, I can give that to you. So you ask for it, and then they tell you their name only, so you ask for their employee number again. And then they get all scared and say: I told you my name. So you say: what am I supposed to do? Call this giant company back and ask for the most generic name ever? So he tells you that the call is being recorded at which point you inform him that "god hates liars and thieves" and then you pull the phone away from your ear, put the speaker end towards your mouth and say, go find jesus. Basically, you say this to a person who is being a ridiculous heathen.

Go find jesus *hangs up the phone*

by MeleeYourFace March 25, 2025


Jesus time

The timer between A.D and B.C

It’s Jesus time.

by The garbage can 69 April 20, 2021