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Mattress Jousting

Yes, it is a game played in college frat parties but has nothing to do with actual jousting. It is the act of two male parteners who are clearly intoxicated partaking in the act of sword fighting (this is where the jousting comes from) with their wangs on a bed (mattress).

It is commonly used as a joke to people who are clearly uninformed about the slang term.

Frat boy: Hey, Jason, do you want to go mattress jousting later on tonight?
Jason: No, I'm not gay
Frat Boy: I am

John's Older Brother: Hey John have you ever gone mattress jousting?
John trying to be cool: Yeah me and steve mattress joust all the time its fun as hell
Steve: I always win
(Arguing over who wins when both are now labeled queers
John's older brother: Wow?

by ogwannabee July 27, 2009


Mattress Holiday

A no-nothing holiday such as president’s day and Columbus Day that’s mainly to give government workers a day off and to sell mattresses.

Damn the bank is closed today for that stupid mattress holiday Columbus Day. Well let’s go buy a mattress I hear they’re 30% off today.

by Dnurse15 February 18, 2024


Mattress

A femme Matt, binary. Gender specifically a female who is not as smart as she thinks she sounds. Sometimes with a proportioned head, which is rare among Matt’s. AKA Offensive.

That Mattress Staci is a real R in the morning especially when insufficiently caffeinated. She does have a huge following on that foot page on OnlyFans, there are a lot of Troy69s however. Not sure they all count.

by Karl Hungus March 30, 2023


mattress

a comfortable thing u sleep on. and it must be white or blue and green.

u have a cool mattress! its blue and green!

by ihopeudontknowme December 16, 2022


mattress

A sleep rectangle that marketers made complicated.

“Alex’s laptop melted after loading his 59th mattress comparison tab”

“Matt spent 43,981 hours browsing mattress reviews, triggering an intervention and a Boring Mattress.”

by boringmattress December 18, 2024


mattress

Bed

But also used when naming various options in a hard situation

Yeah, I’ve review all the mattresses

by Jaakson17391 August 1, 2023