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what girls at age 14 think they have
I'm gonna enjoy a beautiful day outside. Oh shit I forgot, I have depression.
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The most destructive thing a human being can experience. This terrible illness claims the lives of hundreds of thousands of people per year worldwide in the form of suicide and even organ failures.
You find yourself falling in a forever loop down a dark, hellish pit, away from the desired state of happiness. The thought of being awake disgusts you as you'd much rather not even exist or be in an alternate universe away from the hellish state you are currently in. Your heart gets polluted by darkness and the numbing pain that follows with it. Your soul gets crushed by all the weight of self doubt and hatred. Your goals and dreams end up getting destroyed by the cruel state of reality as they wash away in your imagination. You feel worthless. You feel like you could die right this second and nothing worthwhile would change. You see everyone else enjoying life and wonder to yourself how little they know about how truly horrifying the world really is. Your veins are filled with so much self-hatred that you'll gladly harm yourself or even others as a way to cope. You know how much you'd upset your friends and family if you were to take your own life, but you also feel as if it is the only route to happiness and that they'll understand that later on.
That's what depression feels like. If you're experiencing anything that I mentioned above, talk to someone, anyone. Don't let the destructive grips of depression hold you back from experiencing the life you want.
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The feeling where you are drowning and watching people above you with life vests on.
The feeling where you think you're useless to the world and the people around you
The feeling of not being good enough
The feeling of being insecure about who you are
The feeling of feeling useless
The feeling where there is nothing inside your soul, and it's just empty.
The feeling of not wanting to live in the hell you are forced to live in
The feeling of wanting to end your life.
Person 1: dude, what's wrong with you?
Depressed person: nothing
Person 1: I know there is something wrong
Depressed person: dude, I'm just tired.
Person 1: just tell me.
Depressed person: depression
Person 1: I know what that feels like.....
Depressed person: no you don't. You know what depression feels like? Not being good enough, feeling useless and worthless, and wanting to end your life. Did that answer your question
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Inability to feel any emotion, even sadness. Your mind has dealed with so much misery, that it becomes numb to the emotional pain and feels nothing. Because if this lack of feeling, they are separated from the rest of humans because are ability to be aware of our emotions makes us special. This separation leads to a vague loneliness and the depressed person might find themselves stuck in a black, endless void where their happiness, sadness, anger, excitement, etc used to be. Because of this habitation in this entry void, the depressed person might find life worthless, and may not want to live anymore.
Depression is my life now. Living this way is not living at all. I could just die and because I have no feeling, I won't care.
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Depression feels like emptiness, the constant feeling of no feeling at all and a crave to feel. It feels like you're 10 feet underground and no one can hear your screams for help. Depression feels like a whip that slaps you at random. Sometimes you're hanging out with people, at school, at work, etc. and then the whip comes and slaps you again. You feel like you can't talk to people, you feel like if you open up to them they'll think you're weird or just say, "Get a physiatrist." which is easier said than done. You have to keep in mind that it gets so much worse before it gets better. You might lose friends along the way but true friends will alway be one text or call away. Don't worry about your depression because it will go away. You just need time and patience and some things that can make you smile or laugh. If you're pretty much fully recovered and you get a wave of depression again it will pass in one to two weeks. <3 (This was all from past experiences of me and a friend recovering. If your depression does not start recovering after 10-24 months I recommend seeing a doctor for a proper diagnosis.)
Girl:"I'm finally starting to feel genuinely happy and more confident with myself!"
Boy:"Do you mean your depression is starting to go away?"
Girl:"Yes! I haven't been this happy in so long!"
Boy:"We should celebrate!"
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Feeling alone. Feeling like no one cares. Feeling like nothing matters. Crying for no reason. Wanting to kill yourself. Feeling like your worthless. Feeling like you don't mean anything. Feeling like your invisible. Wanting to disappear. Wanting just listen to sad music. Not wanting to be around anyone.
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