Random
Source Code
Random
take chuck norris joke and replace chuck norris with ninja
Chuck norris can divide by 0
=
Ninjas can divide by 0
2👍 14👎
You take a parrot and place it on the womans shoulder, then while stood behind her shout 'Polly want a cracker?!' When she turns around to see what you are doing you bob down and lick her love tunnel without her expecting with such force and vigor she looses her footing twist her ankle and walks like she has a peg leg to the bed with a parrot still on her shoulder.
Friend: Why are you walking like a pirate?
Girl: Oh, that's the result of a nuff buff piece of ass doing a Ninja Pirate on me...
31👍 1👎
Someone who sits in a public toilet taking a shit as silently as possible, not moving around or making any noise, with the intent of catching someone doing something embarrassing thinking they are not there.
It is usually a good idea to duck down and check for shit ninjas before you do something that would otherwise be considered embarrassing.
Joe: *walks into bathroom, thinking nobody is in there*
Joe: FUCK, that slutty little bitch was SO motherfucking hot! But too bad she's only twelve years old! *slams wall with fist*
*sound of rustling toilet paper*
Joe thinks: (Oh god, it's a shit ninja)
Mike: *walks into bathroom, thinking nobody is in there*
Mike: I gotta take a massive fucking dump! *FAAAAAART*
*sound of someone shifting around on a toilet seat cover*
Mike thinks: (fuck, not another shit ninja)
77👍 2👎
A Ninja Kiss (NK) can only preformed by the quick of lips. A perfectly executed NK will be completely without warning, and usualy leaves the kissee breathless, confused, and horny. This is why ninjas always get the girl in the end.
As Rainbow turned the corner, she was surprised with a ninja kiss. SCOOOOOOOOORE!
46👍 1👎
A quick beer. Typically used around 5-6 PM amongst colleagues. People suggesting or agreeing to go for a ninja beer usually have the mutual understanding that one quick beer could lead to many.
John: "Hey guys, let's go for a ninja beer?"
Susan: "I actually have work to do when I get home. Well.. F*ck it; Let's go for a quick one"
A peculiar fellow, usually recognized by orange tinted sunglasses sporting a finely manicured mustache. This man prides himself by giving world class rimjob's to unsuspecting lovers or foes. Like an opportunistic hunter, he can with the blink of a fastidious eye, turn something as harmless as cuddling, spooning, or just small talk into a rimjob. His tongue is like a finely tuned instrument, a meat sinking missile if you will. He also uses this technique to quell a fight that starts out as hand to hand combat, when his eyes meet the enemy; he lures them with the flick of his magical tongue. The Rimjob Ninja is always on the hunt for a chocolate starfish, night or day.
After meeting Kelly, my man wisdom overpowered her, and I grabbed the unsuspecting little tart and gave her the mother of all rimjobs, the ancient butterfly flicker technique until her legs were shaking and she begged for mercy. Her doe eyes looked up at me, and she said, by god you are the Rimjob Ninja.
239👍 14👎
Someone who is riding their bicycle in dark/low visibility conditions, without a headlight or taillight. So-called because they are invisible, like a ninja.
The webcomic Yehuda Moon had a comic illustrating a bike ninja on April 14th.
I wasn't expecting to be out this late, so I didn't have my lights with me, and I was a bike ninja for the ride home.
When I crossed the intersection, I was almost hit by a bike ninja! Dude needs to get some lights and look where he's going.
78👍 3👎