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A girl who a man always thinks about while masturbating.
As said by Neil from The Inbetweeners series 3
I was nearly unfaithful to my wank girlfriend...it's Hayden Panettiere off of Heroes...but the other day I was tempted to knock one out over Fearne Cotton
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The act of engaging in masturbation while crying over the loss of a partner. Usually engaged in during or after a breakup, or a rejection, or an affair of the heart which has gone wrong. The point of the crying wank is to 'wank' through the tears of sadness over said loved one.
This act is always accompanied with the sound of "Angels" or "She's The One" - Robbie Williams.
(While tears leak from the eyes) Brett - "I can't believe she left me" -sniff- "If there's somebody... calling me on... she's the one..." (The act of ejaculation follows this.) - A typical crying wank after being rejected by the girl of your dreams.
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A fury wank is when you furiously jerk-off to alleviate the symptoms of extreme blue balls quickly in the bathroom when you realize the girl you're with in the house won't blow you, done as quickly as possible to make her think its only a massive piss or a quick shit
"Shit man, the fury wank I had to do last night was mad!"
"Sorry babe, just gotta bust a fury.. I mean, take a piss!"
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The act of masturbating in your living room while trying to get caught by the Google Street View car.
As soon as I saw the car coming round the corner by the Bradworthy Inn, I ran home, flopped it out and start it furiously Bashing the Bishop, in the hopes that the image of me choking my chicken would live forever on Google Street View.
Best Bradworthy Wank I ever had.
Masturbation, not initiated out of sexual arousal, but to achieve a goal, like relieving pressure or to become tired.
I couldn't sleep, so I utility wanked.
I wasn't even horny, it was just a utility wank so I could go to sleep.
Masterbation with the lights off.
Tim: I'm all about saving the planet, I even have Eco Wanks.
Mike: What the hell is that?!
Tim: Oh I just masterbate with the lights off.
Mike: Get away from me.
That feeling you get once you've finished a filthy wank. When you are lying in bed, jizz everywhere, and you can see a mans balls bouncing around your laptop screen. The lowest feeling of all.
had the biggest wank wallow this morning, everything was great until that moment just after i came. Grim