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blonde widow

A attractive girl who can never get a date because she has a reputation for accidentally putting her dates in the hosiptal or the morgue. This type of girl has an uncanny way of always physically harming her dates on accident to the point they may need to visit the hospital. May also be known as an brunette widow or any hair color and the word widow at the end.

WARNING! when encoutering this type of girl she may be easy to approach and will be totally out of your league but she will agree to go out with you anyway. This is a ploy to lure you in while your on a date with her and get you off your guard because she may do one or any combination of the following by accident:

1. Accidentally stab you while tryng to cut an apple.

2. set you in fire while trying to light the grill.

3.Shoot you with a gun while somehow aiming in the exact opposite direction of where you are.

4. Run you over while trying to park the car.

5. drown you while you try to teach her how to swim.

6. Take extreme caution when walking down steps with her she will always trip and you will ALWAYS fall down with her and somehow YOU will fall flat on your face and SHE will somehow be fine.

If you do continue to date this girl do not let her handle the following; knives, guns, bows, pens, boiling water, fire in whatever form, rocks, sand, turtles, pipes, icepacks, ketchup bottles, your tie, the car, NEVER let her play darts, footballs, and your penis

Mike: yo dude me and claire are going out but she wantsa double date and needs someone for her friend annie wanna come?

Danny: Hell no! Annie sent her last 8 boyfriends to the hospital shes a blonde widow.

Noah: Hey man I came soon as I heard you were in the hospital what happend?

Roy: Went on a date with a blonde widow.

by stilldatingblondewidow5yrstrg October 1, 2011


Fracking widow

A wife who’s husband is in the oil industry / fracking industry and works for extended amounts of time leaving his wife for weeks at a time.

My husband is leaving for his hitch and making me a fracking widow for two weeks.

by Ckay2u7 February 18, 2021


Widow Bender

When your husband/wife dies and you get to live out your ho phase like god intended

Did you see Jennifer Lawrance in silver linings playbook? that bitch was on a major widow bender

by jackdewitt February 21, 2023