need some vaseline

When you really get taken avantage of. Basically getting fucked.

Tanya: They charged me way too much for the computer I just bought. I could have bought two for the price I paid to have it financed.
Sydney: Damn sounds like you need some vaseline with that.

we need to talk

prelude to the end of a relationship, "we need to talk" allows someone to move into the reasons for the break-up before the shouting can begin.

We need to talk, David. You're an asshole and I think we should see other people. (It's best for both of us)

we need to talk

The four most dreaded words known to man, whether they be spoken by a significant other, boss, roommate, parent, friend, etc. Usually means you fucked up big time and are about to be dumped, fired, kicked out, disciplined, or at least threatened with some form of punishment or formal rejection. Known to be a leading cause of mini-heart attacks and paranoia.

We need to talk.

Oh shit, what did I do?

I have needs

A colloquial phrase signifying an overlooked state of demand, exigency, or indispensability addressing to one's response to oppression, selfless dedication, or inadequacy of a type of necessity.
See Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

"I work 10 hours a day, 7 days a week with minimum wage so i could feed my children and send them to school. I have needs too."

Girlfriend: "How come we never do it?"
Boyfriend: "Cause, you know about my disorder. You know.. down there."
Girlfriend: "I have needs, you know. Do you want me to go fuck some other nigga?"

Don't need no greasin'

What you say in the rare circumstance when something does not need grease on it.

Guy#1: does this sandwich need greasing?
Guy#2: THAT DON'T NEED NO GREASIN' FOO!
Guy#1: jeez, sorry. It looked like it needed greasin'.

I need the pan

A phrase used when a living being is getting on your nerves, and you wish to hit them with something that is used for sizzling bacon and/or serving spinach and artichoke dip.

Also known as G.T.P.(get the pan), I.N.P.(I need the pan), or I.R.N.P(I really need the pan).

I knocked up this girl the other night, and she keeps calling me asking for money. Man, I need the pan.

Need some Vagisil with that?

Sarcastic remark said to a whiny bro to get him to shut up by implying he is being a giant VAGINA.

Dan: I lost my 3 legged dog Skippy, then QT was out of hot dogs, my Nintendo 64 remote broke......

Eric: dude, need some vagisil with that?