85% Rule

Applies to sports bars that are always right near capacity, but you could always find a seat.

These unicorn bars are the best of both worlds for fans: A great atmosphere AND people know they could still get in without reservations.

Melissa: Where we watching the game tonight, Fam?

Jeff: Ugh, I totally forgot to make a reso, I have been busy all week.

Melissa: Ok, tip-off is in one hour, let's go to 99 Wings, they are an 85% Rule place.

Jeff: So good, and they have the best cajun rub wings.

Not That Bad Rule

Saying something isn't that bad means that they it is exactly that bad.

Guy 1: Bro, your girl is gross.
Guy 2: Come on man, she's not that bad.
Guy 1: Not that bad rule bro, she is that bad.

Girl 1: Try this sandwich
Girl 2: That thing looks disgusting. I'm not eating that
Girl 1: Come on it doesn't look that bad.
Girl 2: Not that bad rule bitch I wouldn't feed it to my dog.

The Chinatsu Rule

A conversational rule mandating that each negative statement regarding something's aspect must be accompanied by a positive statement regarding that same thing. This is to avoid being perceived as bitchy.

"I really hate this burger. However, according to the Chinatsu rule, at least they did throw ketchup, mustard, and even cheese on it."

Rule 7443

If you misunderstand something you are instantly an idiot moron bitch

Person 1: fuck i misunderstood something
Person 2: Rule 7443 moron

Union rules

Wha... What do you mean "actors can't actually have sex when they film sex scenes!?" She should be able to consent to whoever she wants whenever she wants! What next!? Are you going to try to stop the female employees of group homes for the developmentally disabled from fucking the clients!? THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!

Hym 😨 "Union rules!? You mean... I've been masterbating to FAKE SEX SCENES!? UERGH! UUUUGH!! 🤢 Why would you do that!? OOOHOHOHOHO!!! YOU GUYS ARE IN FOR IT NOW! I've been defrauded! I... I'm... I'm suing everybody for this! You bastards are going to pay for every wasted sperm! HHUEEGH! 🤢 Ugh! I'm suing everybody! I'm suing Ann Hathaway and Jake Gyllenhaal for that bullshit pill movie! I'm suing Brad Pitt and Angela Jolie for that spy movie! Everyone's getting it! You SICK bastards! FUCK! 🥺 I FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS..."

argument rule

after arguing you guys fuck it out

we finished arguing so we had to do the argument rule.

rule 964

If you let someone borrow your hot glue gun, they HAVE to send you a full on tittie pic.

Hey, I let you borrow my hot glue gun! Rule 964!