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Occurs when your phone displays completely full bars, thus ascending in a shape that resembles an erect penis (a boner).
Guy A: Do you have any signal?
Guy B: Yeah man, my phone has a signal boner right now.
The lack of sexual reaction a man has to a non-binary woman.
When a woman decides to be ill-defined in a gender sense she can become very unattractive to men to the point of being non-boner-y.
Keeping a man at bay in a situation where his boner cannot be used, or where he has experienced a situation so full of boner poison that he does not even desire to use said boner.
"Dude, that movies last night were so full of boner poison, I was taken boner hostage."
"That girl last night was such a tease, it was a straight up boner hostage situation."
A day (twice each calendar year) when a man with erectile dysfunction cannot achieve an erection even with the use of Viagra.
Wife: Dear, I feel like cuddling. Why don't you take a Viagra?
Husband: It's no use Sweetheart. Today's the boner equinox, I'm done.
Wife: Alright then, I'm going to Bingo with the girls.
boner solstice
When you get turned on so fast that your dick gets hard quicker than it can rearrange itself in your pants. Usually requires manual adjustment and is accompanied by drool and the inability to make rational decisions as lack of blood leaves your brain in a stupor.
Friend: “yo! Dude! Fix yourself! You got an insta-boner.”
Me: *babbles incoherently*
Friend: “Emily walked by, didn’t she?”
Me: “random jibberish* *fixes junk*
When you get hard instantly. There us no gradual hardening. Instantaneous hardening. (usually rips pants)
Dude! She was so hot she gave me an insta-boner!