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Random
When in the middle of a texting conversation one person’s correspondence gets slow due to masterbating with the dominant, or right, hand and thus only being left to text responses with the non-dominate, or left, hand.
Tony: “Why so slow the the responses?”
Cookie: “Sorry, my right hand is busy, only able to do left hand texting!”
Tony: “Please, continue.”
A screaming child in a restaurant, airplane, or other public enclosed space where you can't get away from the sound.
Kathy and I were at this nice dinner the other night and it was totally ruined by the Second-Hand Baby. We had to leave before dessert.
29th August is national hand day, where everyone with sexy hands should share their sexy hands with whatever weirdo likes them. Bonus points for dead looking hands-
'I know someone who would love august 29th'
'why what's august 29th?'
'national hand day duh'
Midnight hand washing is when a girl has just finished fingering herself, and is washing her hands repeatedly to clean herself off, this can also be used as a euphemism for female masturbation.
"well I'm gonna go do some midnight hand washing"
"I'm gonna go wash my hands repeatedly in the middle of the night"
Consuming alcohol that someone else has already consumed.
Kissing someone who has just taken a shot and receiving second-hand alcohol.
A feeling you get when you encounter something so incredibly idiotic you can almost feel the stupidity radiating off of it, making you feel dumb.
I just watched a JayStation video and I got 2nd hand stupidity.
The act of smearing the penis in chocolate and Stella Artois and receiving a handjob from a Belgian prostitute. The receiver then blows their load onto a Belgian crepe, and the Belgian prostitute proceeds to eat it
I got a proper Belgian Hand Clencher last night, chocolate and Stella everywhere