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Edward Cullen

A 108 year old virgin that's the second main character in the Twilight saga. He sparkles in the sun, is a abusive to his "mate" (the bitch known as Bella Swan), and is overly lovey-dovey and boring. Many Twilight fangirls think he's hot, but he makes sane people want to vomit. He claims to be a vampire, but since vampires don't sparkle, he's most likely some species of gay fairy.

Twilight Fangirl: I want to marry Edward Cullen! Don't you?

Sane Person: Sorry, I don't do sparkly retards.

by JadeHeartOfFire March 22, 2009

701๐Ÿ‘ 207๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

Probably the worst Vampire ever to grace the pages of a book. Character is dull, boring, doesn't do much except fall in love with some human that he's afraid to bite. In other words, not a real Vampire, but more of a handsome school boy who simply falls for the ''new girl''. Not even in the ranking of the greatest Vampire in history. Nothing compared to Vampires such as Count Dracula and other legendary Vampiric figures. Nothing more than a love sick pretty boy.

Read Twilight to learn more of Edward Cullen. Enough said.

by XCountXDraculaX March 26, 2009

182๐Ÿ‘ 49๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

The subject of the adoration of a nation of female sycophants. Aforementioned sycophants may be teenaged or middle-aged. The jury is currently out on which is less pathetic.
The "perfect man", hero of Stephenie Meyer's "Twilight" series. The last time I checked, the perfect man was not a controlling stalker, but hey. That's just me. Maybe you all would LOVE IT if your boyfriend forbid you from seeing your best friend and stared at you while you had inappropriate dreams about other men. (see "perfection")
The least original romantic hero ever written.

If only Edward Cullen were my boyfriend, then I would know what it's like to be under house arrest.

by missmagpie January 20, 2009

690๐Ÿ‘ 210๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

Pretty boy "vampire" that falls for a human girl (Bella). He is controlling, abusive, obsessive, and a stalker.

He is controlling and abusive because he forces Bella to go to prom, dismantles her car so she can't see Jacob, and recruits Alice to kidnap Bella and hold her hostage at his home.

He is obsessive and a stalker because he stands in the corner of Bella's room watching her sleep everynight without her knowledge and he also follows her around, reading the minds of others to find out her whereabouts.


1. Girl: OH MY GAWD EDWARD CULLEN IS SOOOO HOTTTT!!!! AND THE WAY HE WATCHES BELLA SLEEP IS SOOOO CUTE! I WISH I HAD A BOYFRIEND LIKE THAT!!

Me: You mean you wish you had a vampire boyfriend that stands in the corner of your room, watching you sleep with out you knowing??? And then follows you around wherever you go???

Girl: YEAH!! I BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND BECAUSE HE ISN'T LIKE EDWARD AT ALL!

Me: ....

2. Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.
Me: *gag*

by screaminghallelujah6 April 27, 2009

107๐Ÿ‘ 27๐Ÿ‘Ž


edward cullen

is a very annoying vampire, who magically sparkles in the sunlight, is perfect, is very concied, a 108 virgin, how could that possible be atractive to 13 year old girls? but he gives girls orgazms...which is wrong because he really isn't that hot.

Edward:I'm Edward Cullen and I sparkle in the sunlight.

Jacob Black: Bark bark wolf bark bark.

by rickiyson December 21, 2008

352๐Ÿ‘ 103๐Ÿ‘Ž


edward cullen

Edward Cullen is a Mary Sue written for the sole purpose of encouraging girls aged eleven to fifteen to give up hard earned pocket money to Summit Entertainment and Little Brown and Co. He drives the perfect car. He has the perfect hair. He has the perfect face. He has the perfect body. He is also blindingly white and ice cold, which somehow translates out to sexy.

Many adults claim his character makes a positive influence on girls, stating that he encourages reading, and promotes themes like abstinence because he won't have sex with his girlfriend, Bella. However, they neglect to mention that he sneaks into a girlโ€™s room without permission to watch her sleep, breaks down her car so she canโ€™t see her best friend, forces his family to move away without saying goodbye to Bella in order to control her grieving process, and generally acts as a model of a controlling, abusive boyfriend. His behavior is excused, because fans of Twilight, the series he more or less stars in, claim he was doing it all โ€œfor Bellaโ€™s protectionโ€ or โ€œbecause he loves her.โ€

Edward is a vampire with barely any of the consequences, and several added perks. When he goes out in sunlight, all he does is sparkle. He isnโ€™t affected by crosses, or holy water. He can have children with humans. Heโ€™s super strong and super fast, and he reads minds.

All in all, he's a fictional character who provides girls with the perfect, abusive bad boy.

Hey, what are all those eleven year old girls shrieking about?

They're discussing Edward Cullen. They'll outgrow guys like him in a few years . . . I hope.

by anti twihard April 10, 2009

114๐Ÿ‘ 30๐Ÿ‘Ž


Edward Cullen

97 year old pedophile who stalks underage girls while they sleep, not to mention the cannibalistic fetish of suckin their blood out from a fresh wound.

Edward Cullen cursed our women!

by thisisit December 28, 2009

876๐Ÿ‘ 282๐Ÿ‘Ž