Ewan

Claims to have big dick energy yet he knows that he has a little pecker. He is hella autistic and loves to fondle with mens balls and touch little kids with Harvey's. He loves anal with Taylor and occasionally fists Charlie and Konrad.

Ewan: hey

Small Kid: hey dad
Ewan: Oh yes kid say that again
Small Kid: DADDYYYYYYYY
EWAN: AHHHHHHHH
*VIGOROUS FISTING NOISES*

3👍 4👎

Ewan

The largest homosexual in the known universe, has a dog called Franklin

Bruv, least I'm not as gay as Ewan

6👍 9👎

Ewan

A very cool guy who goes under the alias of Super Saiyan Goku.

Ewan is very cool and goes under the alias Super Saiyan Goku.

63👍 169👎

Ewan

Someone with a hairline is receding faster than the speed of light

Hair is falling.
All around us.
Children playing receding.
It is the season for hair loss and balding.
Merry Christmas Ewan

6👍 11👎

Ewan

Ewan is a right twat that no matter what you will always be slightly annoyed at him because his face is just generaly insulting

person 1 : see that ewan over there i really want to punch him

Person 2 : same what an asshole he is

6👍 11👎

Ewan

A steamy motherfucker who likes to lick and suck yer da his avon. Sometimes he tries to get you in his van to then put you in his basement or shed to proceed and earrape the absolute crap out of you.

Ewan: get in my totally not suspicious white van with "free avon" on the side for some free avon ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

You: no ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

Ewan: GET IN THE FUCKING VAN U FLAPKUT
*you blackout, wake up later and things get loud*

3👍 4👎

Ewan

The guy who puts to much jell in his hair and always wears cat shits

That ewan is a real jell overwhelmed retard :)

3👍 5👎