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The french won military victories? No they didn't you dumbass.
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HAHA are we serious? French military victory is just a slang phrase for " retreat!!!!!"
A french soldier says, " god damnit, well never be able to fight the Germans now, all of our tanks treads are all burnt out becuase of going into reverse to much, fuck."
French Tank Commander, "Hey what did u expect, did u see those guys?? they were pointing guns at us!"
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*Notable* French-only military victories include:
1) The 100 Years War
2) That's it.
The Crimean War doesn't count. Although the French played an important war, the primary players were the British and the Russians.
William the Conqueror of Normandy (William the Bastard as he was then known) was most likely of Celtic or Viking descent, not actually a Frenchman.
Napoleon was actually bad for France, it was worse off after he was finished with it than it had been. At least it was somewhat respectable before. (Although the French people were better off under the psychopath Napoleon than under the incompetent French royalty)
Indo-china...That was as pointless as the American attempt later on.
And Kung-fu Jesus, losing 50,000 troops over fourteen years is better, not worse, than losing 90,000 in less time.
France sucks. Get over it, France.
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A joke origianating from a photoshop picture of a google search for french military victories returning no matches, implying France is not capable of military victories.
It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses.
Crimean war: France were the first into sevastopol, and Russia surrendered to Paris.
American war of Independance: Cornwallis surrendered his sword to Rochambeau, who politely declined.
Hundred years war: England's early gained ground was taken back in an equal amount of time for it to be taken, and the land that England rightly owned was also taken by 1556.
1066: Superior tactics see France conquer England, and later wales under the Normans and Plantagenets.
Napoleon: Napoleon was indeed French born (not on the mainland though) and domiciled, although his parents were Italian. Accomplished more than Hitler in terms of European domination.
Indo-China: France re-establishes control in a few months, although kills millions of rebels. the United States tres the same and ends up hitting jack shit for fourteen years while seeing 50,000 soldiers die fromt he united states alone (ignoring other countries0. France's army, which was actually a coalition of other nations led by france loses 90,000.
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Such a thing has never happens, and never will. France may be beutifull but the french people are a bunch of pussies.
The french planted treats on the great avenues of the city of paris so the invading armies marched in the shade
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1. Mythological event who's existance in modern thinking is correctly ridiculed by those that maintain a belief in the existance of same.
2. Send in the Americans
3. The French Foreign Legion is only as good as it's worst German trooper.
In order to insure a French Military Victory, send in the Americans.
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Something which never happens while an army is comprised of a French majority and led by a Frenchman
Napoleon, Joan of Arc, William, The French Foreign Legion, American generals: None of these are Frenchmen
Charlemagne, Martel, Guye: None of these men commanded armies made up of over 40% Frenchmen
These do not count as French Military Victories
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