Rural Dictionary

Coffin Dance

Play this at my funeral or I'm not going

I do enjoy coffin dance. It can never die, since if it does, it plays at its own funeral and is revived.

by IDoEnjoyCoffinDance July 10, 2020

49👍 3👎

The opposite of Occam's Razor, it applies to situations where the most convoluted, elaborate explanation is the most likely to be true.

It's named in honor of Peter Coffin, who got famous for creating an incredibly complex labyrinth of lies in order to pretend he had lost his virginity. When some inconsistencies in his story became apparent, some people suggested bizarre explanations as a joke, but later the most ludicrous ones turned out to be true.

"Okay, so either Peter finally got a girlfriend, or he has dedicated the last few years of his life to the elaboration of a complex network of deception that involves a real size sex doll, thousands of dollars worth of girl's clothes, including custom made cosplay, dozens of sockpuppet accounts interacting with each other, several blogs and twitter accounts that he writes himself regularly, photo manipulation, stop motion animation, hiring a Scottish woman to record voice samples, dressing in drag, finding girls that looked like the doll and secretly taking pictures of them, stealing a baby, acquiring hospital equipment to use as props, and forging official documents, and he did all this despite he was caught years ago doing something similar and got publicly humiliated for it. Now seriously, what do you think is more likely?"

"By application of Peter's Coffin, the second hypothesis is the most likely."

A few days later...

"Oh my god! I can't believe it was all true! Peter's Coffin was right again!"

by MastermindX January 29, 2015

135👍 17👎

Coffin Lane

The curb lane of a multi-lane road. So named because drivers crossing the road, are not apt to see vehicles driving down this lane. These drivers are often suckered into making the crossing by innocent drivers in other lanes, who politely wave them through. Everyone is oblivious to the cars sailing down the far right hand lane, who have the right of way.

Of course the insurance company denied his claim. He was making a left turn across three lanes of traffic and could not see the cars whizzing down the curb or coffin lane. The moral is never trust other drivers, when they wave you through. Notice how they were smiling when they waved you through?
The chances are that a turn-pussy knows this from experience, not from driver's ed.

by miker2001 December 27, 2010

11👍 1👎