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The phrase "Monocle Swap" refers to a sexual act being performed by two distinguished and exceedingly classy/cultured individuals, of any gender combination. (male/female, female/female, and male/male monocle swaps are all possible.)
The act can be described as follows: Mid-coitus (in any variation/position) the two involved parties simply exchange eyewear (in this case, a monocle or two) in a gesture of extreme intimacy and respect for each other. This can be considered as the sexual equivalent of a hat-tip on excellent sexual performance and prowess.
It has even been documented that the act of monocle-swapping itself has lead to intense orgasms and the formulation of "Great American Novels" and speeches of note.
"I say! Last night's monocle swap with George was the finest I do believe I've ever had! Simply smashing"
"Really, old bean? Well, then. I shall bequeath my monocle onto Cynthia's face tonight... along with a little something extra!"
*mutual laughter and pipe smoking ensues*
Wearing a monocle on each eye to make it look like one is wearing glasses.
"Anyone can wear glasses...but it takes skill to manage wearing Bi-monocles."
Similar to a mayonaise monocle but actually in the eye, causing a burning sensation to the victim.
See seagulling.
Holy damn, thats no seagull - I've got a hot monocle!
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The result of ejaculating in another persons eye. Also known as 'pink eye'.
I gave your mother a hot monocle last night.
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When a basketball player uses only one hand to create the commonly-referenced "three-goggles" after making a three pointer. The gesture is made by putting the okay sign (a circle made from your thumb and index finger, with other three fingers outwards) up to only one eye, Mr. Peanut style.
Wow, Kevin Durant's on fire tonight - he even busted out a Three Monocle after his 4th trey!
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When a load of ejaculate is shot into only one eye of a recipient, and then dribbles down the face. The likely results of sitting up after recieving a pearl eye patch.
After I gave her the old pearl monocle she looked a little like that guy from monopoly.
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When you drink so much, you can only keep one eye opened.
Half asleep, Bullet Bob's head was bobbing up and down in the back seat of the car and with a heavy beer monocle, he looked up and said 'let's go to Denny's'.
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