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Religious Conflict

What itiots from 3rd-world nations (particularly in the middle east) do when they get bored.
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Shi'ite Muslim 1: "You wanna go start a war with the Sunnis?"

Shi'ite Muslim 2: "Yeah!"

Sunni Muslim: "Well, you're too late; I'm startin' a war with you first!"

Shi'ite 1: "No your not!"

Both parties simultaneously pull out AK-47's and shoot each other.

That's Religious Conflict for ya'.

by JBurton31 April 19, 2010

42๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


religious idiots

People who combine their sheer stupidity, simple minds and poor understanding of their religion.

"Japanese people are of the devil because they don't conform to our standards!"
"Keep your children away from this show because it shows animals having emotions and is therefore satanic!"
"9/11 was caused because there are gay people!"
"Praise be top God for killing all of this ethnic group!"

Ever heard of "Judge not"? Bunch of religious idiots.

by udusers1 August 18, 2011

80๐Ÿ‘ 12๐Ÿ‘Ž


Religious Tourettes

An affliction most commonly to those who attend church. It is the yelling out of affirmations to the preachers words during a sermon. Commons words and phrases yelled are amen, hallelujah, and praise jesus.

That woman has religious tourettes.

by Adam Hobbs August 3, 2008

96๐Ÿ‘ 17๐Ÿ‘Ž


Religious Tea

Has been made since the dawn of time. The method is unchanged, and widespread, from Catholics to Muslims. Every holy meeting will serve this drink.

You take an urn filled with enough water for 20 people and heat it to a stage that is beyond scalding. You then add enough tea leaves for perhaps 2 people and leave it to stew. When the time comes to drink it, serve it in fragile cups with a handle that heats up to the temperature of the liquid. Despite the fact that the drink is horrible, people will drink it and smile sweetly. You can't turn down tea served by a holy person. It's one of the rules of life, along with "you can't hit an old person" and "you can never bollock someone elses kid for being a little shit"

Religious Tea in a CofE church hall comes with a massive side of sympathy that you didn't ask for, and didn't need. You will have your arm touched and rubbed by old ladies and will be called a "good girl/boy"

Religious Tea in a Catholic church hall comes with a side of wrath and hellfire and possible eternal damnation for thinking that you don't like the tea. You may even have to confess if you don't finish it.

Religious Tea in an Adventist church hall comes with a side of awe and wonderment at the marvellous ways of God and sheer admiration that He saw fit to give us tea to drink.

Religious Tea in a Mosque comes with a side of dynamite and optional pre- packed rucksack and train ticket

"Would you like a cup of tea?"
"Oh, yes please Vicar"

(aside)- "Damn, I fucking hate Religious Tea"

by MagickDio March 17, 2010

21๐Ÿ‘ 2๐Ÿ‘Ž


religious conservative

1. A total asshole.

2. A hypocritical dip shit who wants government out of everyone's life but at the same time wants to legislate marriage and what happens in the bedroom.

3. Someone who is so preoccupied with gay marriage that you would think they had a gay porno playing in their head.

Rick Santorum is a religious conservative.

by nsw April 4, 2012

29๐Ÿ‘ 6๐Ÿ‘Ž


Religious Nut

Any person who has an irrational, deep-seated belief in God. Also known as a religious fanatic, they belittle the intelligent and reasonable person who tries to make them come to their senses:
God doesn't want you to enter a certain occupation. (What do they know?)
Doctors act like Gods. (Oh, puuulllleeeesse! Letting a child die of a curable illness or injury is not God's will, it's child abuse. Jail the poor kid's so-called parents, okay?)

Religious nuts frequently watch religious shows, and even donate their Social Security checks to the filthy rich televangelists who only worship the Almighty Dollar. They also attend church daily if they could, decorate their homes with religious symbols, only read the Bible, fill their kids' heads with lies about God and the world, call nonbelievers and anyone who tries to talk sense into them sinners, make more babies than they could afford, and say that God brought Donald Trump into the White House.

Religious nuts are hypocrites of the highest order. Some well-known religious nuts include crazy Margaret White from Carrie, the kids' vicious rich bitch grandmother from Flowers in the Attic, the Duggar family from 19 Kids and Counting, and myriad Trump supporters.

Religious Nut: "You want to go away to college, you little heathen? They will take you away from God. You will live in sin. You will go to Hell!"

Normal Person: "Oh, won't you just shut the hell up? If there is a God, He would give you free will."

by The Real Canadian April 2, 2017

71๐Ÿ‘ 16๐Ÿ‘Ž


Religious Cunt

An overly religious teenage woman in the internet who enjoys tweeting and posting bible verses or quotes about God, but in reality that woman is actually a slut.

P1: "She loves God as much as she loves dicks."

P2: "Yeah, she's pretty much a religious cunt."

by raepmemoar February 23, 2017