Jokes invented by Yakov Smirnoff, involving the comparisons of things in the United States and the Soviet Union.
"In America, you drive car. In Soviet Russia, car drives you!"
"In America, you go to parties. In Soviet Russia, party goes to you!"
"In America, you watch television. In Soviet Russia, television watches you!"
"In America, you define dictionary. In Soviet Russia, dictionary defines you!"
"In America, you shoot gun. In Soviet Russia, gun shoots you!"
408๐ 53๐
When a male ejaculates all over his sexual partners glasses.
"Bro I roped so hard on her glasses, she couldn't even see, it was a Soviet Milkshake"
The third album made by Soviet born singer Regina Spektor, now living and performing in the U.S.
- Have you listened to the new Regina's Album - Soviet Kitsch?
- New? It was released in 2004, dude!
Unrecognized state created by radical chechen jihadists which decided how nice it would be if it would be legal to keep slaves, commit rape on a daily basis, chop people you disagree heads off and toss homosexuals from rooftops. Rest of the world, including Chechnya itself didn't understood this idea and began bombing the hell outta them for some reason.
Again mass media channels showing this Soviet Isistan propaganda, ffs i took enormous effort to lift my hand a press button on my remote control to watch Game of Thrones porn and assasinations, not some caucasian weirdos porn and assasinations.
1. Alternative names: State of Confusion, Last Remaining Communist Satellite.
2. Designates the attitudes of the State of Utah.
3. A phrase referring to a socialist entity bordering on a dictatorship.
4. A state where it is hard to separate church and state.
1. I hate this place! You can't buy beer on Sundays! I hate Soviet Utah!
2. The ruling class in the state haven't separated church law and state law and have made this place into Soviet Utah.
111๐ 16๐
A beautiful place full of communism. Everything here is backwards
In Russian accent: "in soviet russia, you do not kill communists, COMMUNISTS KILL YOU!"
54๐ 6๐
While most of the other definitions on this topic are technically correct, none of them attribute the joke to its originator, Yakov Smirnoff, an actor and standup comedian who is pretty recent and also still alive.
I can't believe the contributors to this definition were so stupid that they think a joke by a comedian who was incredibly famous during the late 80s and is still very famous is actually a joke that just "comes from the internet"!
In soviet russia, contributors to internet sites probably know what they're talking about, because they don't here.
174๐ 27๐