bearded

Something that is totally awesome, leet, super-cool, ragenomic, or otherwise excellent.

Guy # 1 : Im fockin hungry

Guy #2: Hey, want to go to get some subs?

Guy #1 : That would be totally bearded, bro

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a beard

A woman who is dating a gay man and who unbeknownst to her is covering for his latent homosexuality.

"Greg doesn't really like Susan, she's just a beard."

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Beard

A woman who is being used to hide a man’s true affections for another woman or man.

“Max is so over Celeste, look at him with Jasmine. He’s really into her, isn’t he?”

“You haven’t been paying attention, he’s been watching Celeste all night. Jasmine is just his beard to make it look like he’s over her but it’s so obvious he’s trying to make her jealous.”

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Bearded

When someone gently touches your vagina, but does not finger you.

"Did he beard you"
"Yes he bearded me!"

"I really want him to beard me!"

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bearding

v. The act of growing a beard.

Ignorant non-bearded co-worker: "Dude, seriously - what the hell is wrong with your face?"

Cool hip bearded employee: "I'm bearding this month and would appreciate it if you went and pissed up a rope!"

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bearded

When someone tops a story that you just told.

Me: Last night i drank like 30 beers

Bearder: Ya well i gottta buddy who drinks 30 beers per meal.

Other guy: dude, you just got bearded.

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Beard

He’s the strong and silent type, is Beardy. Don’t get him angry, though. Very loyal. Definitely a bonus to have him on your side in a fight, I can tell ya. But, really, don’t make him angry! He’ll get all up in your grill and lay down a shockingly filth-laden tirade right out in public. He once told me to, and I quote, “...go get Ape-Raped until you’re rendered into a fuck-stew of effluence and hate...”

And people argue that beards can’t talk!

“I just got beard-slapped by that beard attached to that guy over there.”

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