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A short, fat mexican kid who can usually get you drugs.
Guy: "Yo Jesus! You got any weed for me bitch?"
Jesus: *in mexican accent* "yea man, Uncle Tony hooked me up again bro"
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jesus (verb) to make a girl cum twice. (derived from the second coming of Jesus Christ)
Person1: Is your girl still mad at you?
Person2: Nah I jesus'd her and we're good now.
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The most well-known Jew, after Woody Allen.
Woody Allen is a mitzvah to humankind! Jesus? What chutzpah!
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A cosmic Jewish Zombie who was his own father that can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master so that he can remove an evil force in your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
Easter: Happy Zombie Jesus Day!
1338👍 1088👎
My mexican gardener, he does a great job
Me: Jesus, you did a great job on the tulips yesterday!
Jesus: Gracias!
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A white American who was born in the Jewish middle east about two thousand years ago when dinosaurs were still walking around the earth because God made the earth in seven days. He was devoutly Republican, and a great friend of Ronald Reagon and George Bush Senior. He enjoyed golfing, the Stock Market, and the occasional damning of a democrat.
He resembled Chuck Norris in such a way that many asked for "his autograph," to be terribly disappointed when he signed it, "Christ."
Q: What would Jesus do?
A: Invade, all the way George. He's practically screaming it.
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