Random
Source Code
Random
Matt Maltese is a British musician with an angelic voice. He is mainly known for his trending song "As the world caves in" on Tiktok, but there's so much more to his discography. He has 3 albums and my personal favourite& his actual masterpiece is "Bad contestant". Every live performance of him is amazing and I don't think he is able to make one bad song. Also, his voice is unbelievable.
So, if you listen to Matt Maltese, you're probably really cool and have wonderful taste. If you don't, it's never too late to start. Whichever one you are, don't hesitate to follow my account matt_maltese_fanpage on instagram.😋
hottie: Hey, you are really pretty. Do you by any chance listen to Matt Maltese?
random ugly person: Matt??Maltese??? No he sucks. And his shaved head looks like an egg.
hottie: HIS SHAVED HEAD IS THE HOTTEST THING EVER. But nvm yo a#s ugly as he#l🤙
When you have tried every other strategy to get that filthy blozzer you've been crying out for so your only last option is to get down on one knee and give your life away.
"She hasn't touched my slug for months, think I might have to use the Maltese Proposal this weekend."
"Used the Maltese Proposal this weekend. It was a carnival of saliva."
4👍 1👎
A small white fluffy dog, apparently selectively bred to present this appearance since Roman times. They were perfectly good wolves before that. Their hair never sheds or stops growing, which means that they can become a hideous walking dreadlock in the blink of an eye. Often inbred to the extent that they need all of their rotten teeth pulled out by a vet before the age of six, it is debatable whether the Maltese is capable of learning discipline. They are given to ceaseless yapping, wissing on rugs and biting (with aforementioned rotten teeth- they have hellbreath) and are never reprimanded for such crimes by their fat, matronly, indulgent owners who need something totally dependent on them to cuddle because their beloved son has rebelled and moved out of home to become a skinhead.
Nurse: Oh, great. Another five cages full of Maltese Terriers today. Total dental removals, or all-over body shaves?
Vet: Both. Get the gas....
31👍 27👎
Pool player who cannot avoid potting the white on important shots. Tends to lose out to thegreatgatsby on RTG powerplays.
"Look, John, he's potted the white again."
"Yes, Dennis, how many times are we going to see him do that?"
6👍 4👎
Sex position where one partner dresses up as a holy-land crusader and the other like a nun. The use of the Maltese Cross symbol on clothing is mandatory. One partner then urinates on dirt and flings it on the other such that they form the appearance of muddy urine casts.
Yo, we had a theme date last night. We watched Kingdom of Heaven, did a Maltese Cross, and ended with some Hookah and Age of Empires II.
6👍 5👎
When you stick your dick and balls into a pussy and cum in her making it like a milkshake with maltesers on the top>
Yo Lewis made a nice malteser milkshake in me last night.