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Slang for someone who can go blow it out of their ass. There are in fact, three levels of tuba
Trumpet- only a tuba sometimes
Tuba- common name
Sousaphone- Biggest asshole you could meet. Much like my friend's ex
"He played me like a violin"
"Well next time you see him, play him like a tuba and tell him to blow it out his ass"
"Stop talking to that Sousaphone!"
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The gayest instrument ever created. See cumguzzle
Ben played the tuba all day and cooled off in a shower of CUM.
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A mediocre instrument though, is the love of people's life. It plays in the bass clef, and is the "back-beat" to the band. Though it has amassed a large following because of it's large size, low tone and vibrant sound, it is in many ways a cumbersome instrument.
Some of the effects on tuba players is that they end up angry that they chose an such a comically large instrument, and therefore feel the need to lash out at anyone who decides to "attack" their "godly" tuba. Another effect is that all tuba players feel the need to validate them self, and prove that they are the most important part of a band.
Often times, a tuba player is prorated as a larger man, and the inclusion of a tuba is a nod to how the flow of the bass line of a song is a lower and slower part.
Though all the parts of a band is valuable, many of the players of the tuba are quick to point out that their instrument "is the best!" and nothing with change their mind.
A conversation between a band and a tuba player would look like:
Tuba player: "you know, I, as the tuba player, am like the best and most important part of the band"
The woodwind section: "but we all have are parts to play"
Tuba player: "you're just wrong though"
Percussion section: "you're just loud and not really that needed"
Tuba player later: "wow they think they are such good musicians, clearly I am the best part"
The rest of brass in the distance: "we're just you but lower, and you know it"
James: "You know brad plays the tuba right"
Jackson: "Wow he sounds really pretentious already"
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The most revolting instrument of all. Nobody wants to know what a note under 57 ledger lines sounds like. Tuba players generally are fat, ugly, cheek-puffing slobs. Stay away from tubas and their players.
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A (very low) low brass instrument that can, when handled by a professional, annoy an entire room of students and a band director. The cocky players, who seem to believe they are better than everyone, spit everywhere all the time. These players also, as I have experienced, cannot keep up with the goddamned band. The tuba is a glorified baritone with a lower pitch.
(But it somehow still manages to be the backbone of a band and hold the sound together when played right, even though it never is)
Wow. Look at that tuba. It's three beats behind the rest of the ensemble and cannot seem to hit a note within the staff.
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A stupid, super low, loud instrument that requires absolutely no talent to play.
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The master race of instruments, king of the brass, with brass being superior to all others, closest equivalent to the word of god
Band Geek 1: All hail the tuba!!
Woodwind scrub 1: No, the clarinet is obvi-*gets struck down by the angels of heaven.
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